Sunday, December 14, 2008

Okay, so the chest pains have gone away naturally (probably due to the daily stress in my life), so I'm THRILLED about not going to see the doc...the less I need to go the better, though I probably should schedule a full physical after the beginning of the year since it's been what, since high school that I've done that? Yeah, I'm not much the doctor fan, though I've had my stretches of visits over the past couple of years...broken foot, nail through the foot, shoulder surgery, pneumonia, etc...but here's to a healthier 2009 I tell ya!

So now my job is to survive the holidays...and not eat myself a size bigger (thank goodness that hasn't been the case yet). But, there are stressful things that I will have to overcome. Per my Dad, who likes a little too much of the drinky drinky on family holidays, if we don't come on Christmas when he wants us there, there will no longer be a Christmas at their house. Yeah, that was the martini's talking, but Christmas will still be going on at their house for ever and ever...amen. There was a discussion with the kids and we're all going to go over later around 1pm-ish so that WE can have our own little personal gatherings prior to going over there for the gift exchange and festivities. Yeah, for me it's an hour plus drive, and while talking about this with my Mom on the phone, saying how I understand how things are changing and how people have their own lives, she said to me "I understand it, but I don't have to like it. And I'm not the one who moved so far away." This is the crap I have to deal with for family gatherings. Yes, I moved away to move in with a man I love into HIS house, not a house we bought together. Yes, you may not like the fact that we don't want to come over on Christmas, but I don't like the fact that you've only been over to my house one time since I moved in 4 years ago. And don't give me this "I don't have to like it" speech when you and Dad did the same thing with Grandma when we used to all go out to her place on Christmas, then you decided it was too hard and then started going over there the Saturday before Christmas or Christmas Eve for YOUR gift exchange...hypocritical and frustrating...this was what Thanksgiving brought us this year.

Holidays at my family gatherings are rarely fun, except when we siblings get together and start playing board games, or start bantering or reminising about something funny. That's something I miss since everyone is always running over to someone else's place prior to getting home that night. And yes, I am one of those running out to get home, but with darkness coming by 4:30pm these days, yeah, I'm not a fan of driving home on a holiday with the other crazies trying to get home and relax before the next day comes...and again, my drive is at least an hour one way.

This year is another crazy holiday time, Loverboy's Gram started to do Christmas on actual Christmas rather than on Christmas Eve since her nephew and psycho wife started holding their kids hostage if Gram and Loverboy's Aunt didn't go over there ON Christmas Eve...seriously, really? Can you be anymore psycho, crazy wife lady? There's some disturbing stories about that lady, but that's for another time.

So Christmas is not only at Gram's, but at my folks house as well. Last year I went to my folks and Loverboy went to his cousin's in Indiana...and I got flak for him not being with me. With our schedules, he doesn't get to see his family either, so I'm not going to NOT let him see his family around the holidays while I go over to my parent's house. This year it will be that way again, and I know that there will be discussion about him not being there again. I already told them most likely he wouldn't be coming since he has to work the next day, a luxury that our office ended up giving us another personal holiday for since we had a wonderful year budget-wise. Last Thanksgiving we had ended up staying home since we had a huge dumpster to get rid of all the roofing materials we had torn off the house, and since they were coming to pick it up on that Saturday, it was nice to not have to go anywhere for a family headache. I'd rather just stay home this year myself, but that's not going to happen...I'm a "can't say no" kinda gal, always have been, but hopefully always will not be. 2009 is the year to take my life back. I have a wedding to plan (now that we finally have a date...May 16th...and now I just need a contract), I have school I have to reapply for, a job to find closer to home which I hope to do prior to the wedding, a house to get in order, downsize all my junk...and hopefully have a garage sale this year, better life...and better me.

Hugs to you all, and have a save and happy holiday season!

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

So forgive me if I'm a blubbering idiot and write novel posts...I always want to get EVERY detail added or else the info loses it's luster...and I like things shiney!

So here's the schpeal...I'm 32, getting over shoulder surgery, I'm a major klutz so you may see pics of my self damage up here sometime soon (it seems to be a weekly occurence), working full time, trying to get back into the nursing program (had to drop due to surgery), have a Money pit house that's bleeding me dry, I'm addicted to sweets (hmm...sugary goodness...), I'm engaged to a man who can live off hot dogs for the rest of his life and no gain weight, and I'm getting married sometime in the 5 months. Oh, and I weigh 240 right now...ack, I said it!!!

Yup, premium tubbo to be exact (I know, the comedic comments are horrendous, but it's how I deal, smile and nod with me)...buxom, pleasantly plump, love handles to spare, spare tire, chubby...or just plain fat. Yup, that's me, now lets hold hands, sing kumbia and then hit the sweets table.

So here's the deal, chest pains are not a fun deal, and I've been having them quite often. I'm not sure if it's my body saying "Listen here, you chubby wench, take it easy, there's only one of me to go around, " or if I'm going to become one of those early 30 y/o's who have to have heart surgery due to the syrup clogged in their arteries...or if it's just a change in the weather and the holidays always make me stressed, or if my ticker is teasing me and giving me the chance to drop a quick 20-60 pounds before dropping me. I'll make an appointment soon, I promise.

Or it could be because with my weight gain, the "twins" (the glorious ta-tas upon my busom) are huge and causing my chest to lean forward and cause chest and back issues...I need to do something quick.

So from now on the most of my biot (Linds will remember that) fest will be changing a bit to my struggle and succession of losing the "joey" like pouch where a flat stomach should be, and I will not whine...well, whine with a little cheese never hurt anybody....NO! No whine, or wine (well, maybe a glass of merlot for the ol' ticker, it's supposed to be GOOD for me, but no longer a bottle!) I will throw in useless tidbits of things that I find amusing, or make me laugh, or piss me basically not much is changing except me putting in some weight loss stuff.

So be ready for more posts, if you don't hear from me for a while, I did have a coronary, but I'll be back on soon...a coronary means time off from work, which means time on the devil screen (which is what I call the computer these days since it's sucking the life out of me lately)...laters taters...hmmmm....taters....

Wednesday, October 22, 2008


Yup, that about sums it up, I want to scream. My newest rant about recent crap going on...does this fun never end? This is what's been going on the past 2 weeks....

Last Monday I got a call from Loverboy as I'm in the drive thru at Taco Hell trying to get some nourishment...cough cough...prior to attending physical therapy (people, pray that Halloween will be my last day of physical therapy EVER). I don't really hear him correctly cause the drive thru guy is asking me if I want Dragon sauce with my order...I'm thinking Loverboy said that Diesel, one of our ginormous lap dogs, is throwing up blood...crap, what did he eat now. was Loverboy's Dad, in the ER, because apparently he had passed a lot of blood in the bathroom. HOLY CRAP! I told him I was on my way home, called therapy telling them I was going to have to cancel that days therapy session, and zipped on home! No one knew what was going on, except the fact that Father Loverboy (that's what I'll call him) had gone to the bathroom, passed blood, then hit the floor as soon as he got out of the bathroom. It took this man 2 hours to get to a phone because he couldn't get up, and he literally lives 5 minutes away from the nearest hospital! No shit! The paramedics arrive, take him to the ER, and start him on morphine and units of blood...4 units to be exact (yeah, he was more than a quart low).

Loverboy and I got out there slicker n' snot, and got to visit Father Loverboy one at a time (Gram was there when he had been admitted, but she had already gone home). We each got to talk to him while he was in and out of consciousness, and I got to asking him some questions...what have you been eating, drinking, medications...blah blah. The research coordinator in me was out in rare form. Apparently he was taking Excedrin for his arthritis...major arthritis...and a couple of pills just about every hour. His whole upper body is lacking muscle mass due to the arthritis, and it's traveling downwards through his body. No wonder the man looks like he's lost quite a bit of weight in the past 3 months. So okay, he's overdoing the aspirin. Now because of this overzealous abundance of aspirin, he gets what does he do? He downs flavored Tums/antacids like candy. Not good. I told Loverboy when we were doing a changing of the guard that I thought it sounded like a massive ulcer based off what Father Loverboy had told me. Turns out I was almost right. Found out the next day after they'd had a tube down his throat that it wasn't a massive ulcer, it was MULTIPLE ulcers! Yup, he's just about blown out his stomach. So we're relieved that it could have been majorly worse, those kinds of ulcers can be easily treated. However, he has been having other problems, and hasn't been to the doc's in years. He'll find out what else is going on sometime next week when he has his follow up visit and sees a gastroenterologist.

So the day after that I get a call from Gram with news on what's going on. Apparently Father Loverboy (who has insurance) was called by someone from the hospital that he had to put down $500 while he was in the hospital for his stay. The woman said if he didn't have the money, that he should call family to get it. Excuse me? Um, first, you do NOT call a patient while they are in the ER and say that you need to pay $500 for your stay...that's what bills in the mail are for. Next, I wouldn't do anything without documentation...besides, I'm not a fan of the hospital he was staying at, I'd have taken him elsewhere had I knows anything was going on. Then he's being working on by a doc who says he can leave the day after he was admitted. Now mind you he's still on morphine, dizzy, still bleeding, and not being monitored with his bathroom usage. He asks a nurse if its normal to still be bleeding (nurse had no idea), and that he wanted to talk to another doctor. Then he finds out that he shouldn't still be on the morphine, and they switch him to Tylenol. So he talks to the doctor on call and finds out the previous doctor was a STUDENT. Yeah, that would've been medical malpractice for sure. So she says that he needs to stay another night, gives him information about how he's going to need to change his diet (which the other doc hadn't given him), she gives him a script for ulcer medication, and he's released the next day.

So Father Loverboy (FL) owns 2 apartment buildings, 3 units per building, and a tennant had previously moved out. Loverboy went over to get whatever he could done so that a new tennant could come in and the place wouldn't be sitting. Okay, fair enough. So we're back on the schedule where I don't see him until late anymore due to him going over there after work. I ended up going out there that Friday with some info from the internet on dietary and recovery needs for FL, and made him a bunch of food that he could eat throughout the weekend that wouldn't cause him any pain: french vanilla pudding, stuff to make hot oatmeal, portioned baked chicken with stuffing, mashed sweet potatoes, and steamed carrots, and tuna noodle casserole. Just about all of that was gone by the time I went back on Sunday. Good, he's eating. I told Loverboy that I'd have his Dad a good 20 pounds heavier by Christmas if I kept feeding him like that.

So Sunday I started making a bunch of stuff at home not only for Loverboy, but to bring over to his Dad's for the week. Here's where stuff gets weird. About 2 weeks prior I'd met a girl on the train, she was 19 and 6'5". Yeah, tall girl. We started talking, she was funny, a little crude, but nice enough. We hung out the Saturday before at a flea market in Indiana, and rode the train during the week last Monday and Wednesday. She also wanted to know if I had any single friends...okay, we'll see what's going on with this. I tell her about my friend Danny Boy, nice guy, funny, and fun to be around...she wants him to text her because she doesn't talk much on the, huh? So she calls me on Sunday when I'm making all this stuff and asks to come over an use our computer for homework since the libraries are closed. Um, no, because a)I don't really know you, b)Loverboy and I are both going to be in and out throughout the day, and I'm not leaving you alone in my house, and c)don't you have someone that you know that has one you can use? Then she wants to know what I'm doing, if she can go with me over to FL's house when I bring him food, and asks me about Danny Boy (this being off the market, I have few single male friends who aren't gay these days) he cute, where does he live, does he wear ugly shoes...huh? Okay, he's got your number, he'll call you. But she's adamant about doing something, whether I tell her I'm busy or not. She wants me to go with her to meet up with Danny Boy, um...I've got stuff I need to do, if you meet with him sometime after today, I'm more than happy to go, but I've got stuff that needs to be done right now...I'm sorry you're bored, it's not my problem...but he's my friend, she doesn't want to meet him alone...then don't meet up with him, but I've got stuff to do. She tells me to breath...asks what's with the attitude, asks to breath with me and to stop being a crab ass...EXCUSE ME!??!?!

Yeah, that's when the ball dropped. I lost it. I've been doing laundry the past 4 hours since we had to put in a sump pump because the PVC pipe from the washer was broken and the water was going underneath the house instead of the dry well and that was the first day we were able to hook it back up, I'm cooking like Julia Child on crack so people have something to eat, I'm trying to get the living room cleaned to a state where Loverboy can rip up the floor to pour the slab, and I'm trying to figure out how to plan the wedding/cruise/reception and where we're going to have it...I asked her if she was really going to play that card with me when I had a ton of stuff on my plate. If you know me, you know that my days are pretty crazy, and that I'm not going to drop everything because you're a spoiled teenager who's bored. Not gonna happen unless it's an emergency, which this definately was not. Family and friends come first, laundry is a close second, and people met on the train are down the line around 125, or something. I hung up, and didn't answer the phone the rest of the night. She'd called twice when I was on the way to FL's with all the food I'd made, no messages. Monday I saw her when I was walking to the train. She asked me if I was still being a crab ass... "Don't talk to me." That was all it took, and she hasn't tried to call me back. I'm not her mother, her babysitter, her buddy...I don't need people like that in my life.

Which brings me to today. Last night Loverbody was over at FL's finishing up work on the one apartment. Apparently his right foot had gone in a hole at the bottom of the stairs outside the apartment, and he went down on his knee (yes, it was the one he just had surgery on in March), and his foot twisted. He had come home hobbeling, I sent him to the shower for a soak, told him to take 2 Tylenol, and to elevate his foot when he went to bed to help with the swelling. Just called him this morning, he's home, and was waiting to go see a doctor. CRAP! He thinks he cracked something in the top of his foot. The ankle is fine, there's no real swelling, but he's having a hard time walking. I pray that it's a sprain and not a break...if its a break, then he'll be in a cast for 6+ weeks, and I'll be crying as I cancel our Honeymoon cruise in Jan...I've got till November to cancel it for a full refund. I'm not doing a cruise if Loverboy won't be able to enjoy it, let alone be able to walk and scuba dive.

So that's what's going on. I'm going to see about getting a part time job this weekend to help pick up some of the slack of the bills, but we still need to get the concrete footing under the house before the end of the year, and it was a chilly 37 degrees this morning when I woke up. It's only going to get colder, I can tell you that. Anyone know of someone who clones humans? I need a few dozen to help out with my schedule...

Friday, October 10, 2008

New countdown till dum...dum...da...dummmmm....

Whelp, it's booked. Loverboy and I have FINALLY figured out what were doing to get hitched, not quite what we expected, but we both are absolutely lacking in the fundage department and have decided to elope rather than having a wedding extravaganza of tulle and pearls. We're going to go to the Western Carribean in mid-Jan...just us, though my Mom was trying to persuade me to give her the details in case she "accidentally" showed up with my Dad. Yeah right, in my 30+ years of existence, my folks have NEVER gone on a cruise, let alone any vacation that didn't involve fishing, an outhouse, or Wisconsin...that's another story. Hey, we're not getting any help with this wedding, so we're doing it OUR'll get to see pics at the reception.

Details...I got a 7 day cruise for under $2100 (thanks to Linds-Hairwrecker for suggesting with a $50 cabin credit and a free bottle of wine. Now I'm working on airfare and hotel for a day and a half pre-boarding. As for the marriage via ships captain, well, that is kaputz...the packages that the cruise line offered with getting married in the port pre-shoving off was $1550...almost as much as the cruise. The rates go up even higher if you want to get married at sea, or let alone get married on an island where you have to do a blood test and become a citizen if you're doing the actual wedding itself.

Okay, yeah, we'll pass on that. So we're going to do it the easy way...we're going to get married in a courthouse, which is around $35 for a marriage license, and THEN go on the cruise. So yeah, the actual wedding date is not yet finalized, but it'll be around when we actually leave (maybe the morning before we fly out?). I figure we can bring our fancy clothes ( in a sundress, him in khakis and a white shirt?) and get pics taken on the beach and the cruise. Turn that into a slideshow, and you've got something to watch at the reception, which will be in turn planned for May. Date yet unknown, I can only do so much since we just started working on this hardcore about 5 days ago (and my we, I mean I...I just made him stare at the screen and say yes or no to where we wanted to go).

Now in the process of looking for first class seating. Not a necessity, but I'd like not to get squished on my since we're skimping on the actual ceremony itself, and I got a good deal on the actual cruise, we can splurge for comfort rather than take a flight where we're sardined together. Now Loverboy and I sardined together is one thing, being squished next to a linebacker while I've got linebacker shoulders myself is a whole other ballgame. I'm a chick, I bite, remove your appendage from the arm rest...

Well, I've been slacking off enough for now, gotta get back to work. Anyone with tips on finding good/cheap flights, please send some info my way, my brain is wracked with where we're doing the reception...


Wednesday, October 8, 2008

I've been memed....huh?

Okay, so I've been memed from Lindsey over at the True Tales of a Hairwrecker (and trust me, I've been there with the hair scenarios too...ask her about my "Crow" moment, and don't get me started when I looked like a firecracker). Not quite sure what a meme is, I'm new to doing anything other than spewing stuff that pisses me off or makes me laugh so hard I pee. So here goes:

Five things about yourself that are great. Maybe this is a good thing to give me some actual light to my life...
So here's my list:

1. I have a twisted/adaptive sense of humor. I can be raunchy, conservative, dry, or whatever the moment needs. I don't know how I can seem to make so many people parents aren't funny, now when we siblings get together it's insane, so that must be where I got it from. Plus get me some drinky's and I even surprise myself. If you can't laugh at yourself, who will? I'm GREAT at laughing at myself, plus being a major klutz helps the cause even more.

2. I love trying to sound intelligent, whether I'm right is another story. I do it really well, plus I have all this useless information in my head from a)watching the Discovery Channel...the animal and medical shows, b)I surf the net WAY too much, c)I actually like reading, not only fiction, but nonfiction too...comes in handy with dead or dying conversation. Who else can stop the silence from talking about gardens, honeybees losing their stinger when they sting you, don't wear shiny jewelry when you're swiming in the ocean since they can be mistaken for fish scales by predatory fish, or how Dubai is making their own islands to look like the globe? Or just start telling dirty jokes, that ALWAYS gets people going, no matter what age.

3. I LOVE being in the kitchen! And I think I'm a pretty darned good cook! Mind you I like baking and making sweets more, but still, when I cook, no one in my house will go hungry...and they get to bring home leftovers! I miss working at Al's Cafe (Linds, I can't find that honey mustard chicken at Sam's Club anymore, sob). I'd love to work again in a little diner or get my own catering gig going.

4. I'm thrilled that I chose to go back to school, finally, to pursue nursing! I'm already a certified CNA, now I just need to get a job doing that in one of the local hospitals (still dealing with insurance with the therapy, so nothing's going on till that and the doc visits are done so I can leave this Godforsaken job in the city). I was thinking about branching off and taking some classes to become a physical therapist (especially since I've had so much first hand experience in my life) and it'd be nice to have to do on the side to make extra money. I actually want to work in a medical facility rather than the spa setting, I really enjoy seeing some of the other patients around me getting better with the therapy, plus there's going to be SO many physical therapy jobs coming in the near future due to the nursing shortage. The more you learn, the better off you are to be that much more diversified (oh...I used a $5 word!!!).

5. Linds said she's creative, I can't touch that with a 10 foot pole, but I like to be creative in my own way. From making lavendar eye pillows (others seem to like them too, I've got a 16 pillow order coming in from a woman who ordered some other ones last year), to crocheting scarves and afghans, to making jewelry, to seeing something and making something else out of it (turning plates and bowls into bird feeders and water dishes), making paper, drying flowers and herbs, etc. I'm also very good at gift giving, and finding fart or poop cards for my family (a tradition I started about 7 years ago...EVERYONE now gives fart cards at the holidays, doesn't matter who it is, they try to find that extra special card that lets you know how they feel). I'd like to get back into ceramics (Linds, I still have that small green jar you made, I use it everyday), and I'd love to learn how to make stained glass or work with metal and solder (actually, Loverboy taught me to solder copper piping for the plumbing on the house last's a start).

Wow, I actually feel a bit better after reading what I wrote. It's about time I'm not verbally barfing on this page. Maybe it'll be a change from now on? As for tagging others, I don't think I know enough of you on here to actually pick others to do this. If you do, I'd love to see what you put down, so feel free to put a comment to check out your meme.

Monday, September 29, 2008

All about stuff...

So it's Sept 29th...first day back at work! Whoo-hoo!

I feel like frackin shooting myself!

Ah, the joys of not only being off work for 6 weeks, but not being able to lift my arms over my head. Sure the shoulder is better, but tell me how much is sucks to have to prop up your arm with your OTHER arm in order to dispense deodorant? Yeah, welcome to my life...

Other than that, things are surprisingly well. We've shoved as much crap as humanly possible into Loverboy's father's garage and STILL need to get a storage space down the street for the couches and stuff. Stuff, what the hell is stuff. We have to much of it, we don't need it, it takes up space, when we clean stuff out, what do we do? Fill it with more stuff!!!

This brings me to one of my idols, George Carlin. He knew stuff best, and here's his thoughts on the almighty "stuff"...

Actually this is just a place for my stuff, ya know? That's all, a little place for my stuff. That's all I want, that's all you need in life, is a little place for your stuff, ya know? I can see it on your table, everybody's got a little place for their stuff. This is my stuff, that's your stuff, that'll be his stuff over there. That's all you need in life, a little place for your stuff. That's all your house is: a place to keep your stuff. If you didn't have so much stuff, you wouldn't need a house. You could just walk around all the time.

A house is just a pile of stuff with a cover on it. You can see that when you're taking off in an airplane. You look down, you see everybody's got a little pile of stuff. All the little piles of stuff. And when you leave your house, you gotta lock it up. Wouldn't want somebody to come by and take some of your stuff. They always take the good stuff. They never bother with that crap you're saving. All they want is the shiny stuff. That's what your house is, a place to keep your stuff while you go out and get...more stuff!

Sometimes you gotta move, gotta get a bigger house. Why? No room for your stuff anymore. Did you ever notice when you go to somebody else's house, you never quite feel a hundred percent at home? You know why? No room for your stuff. Somebody else's stuff is all over the goddamn place! And if you stay overnight, unexpectedly, they give you a little bedroom to sleep in. Bedroom they haven't used in about eleven years. Someone died in it, eleven years ago. And they haven't moved any of his stuff! Right next to the bed there's usually a dresser or a bureau of some kind, and there's NO ROOM for your stuff on it. Somebody else's shit is on the dresser.

Have you noticed that their stuff is shit and your shit is stuff? God! And you say, "Get that shit offa there and let me put my stuff down!"

Sometimes you leave your house to go on vacation. And you gotta take some of your stuff with you. Gotta take about two big suitcases full of stuff, when you go on vacation. You gotta take a smaller version of your house. It's the second version of your stuff. And you're gonna fly all the way to Honolulu. Gonna go across the continent, across half an ocean to Honolulu. You get down to the hotel room in Honolulu and you open up your suitcase and you put away all your stuff. "Here's a place here, put a little bit of stuff there, put some stuff here, put some stuff--you put your stuff there, I'll put some stuff--here's another place for stuff, look at this, I'll put some stuff here..." And even though you're far away from home, you start to get used to it, you start to feel okay, because after all, you do have some of your stuff with you. That's when your friend calls up from Maui, and says, "Hey, why don'tchya come over to Maui for the weekend and spend a couple of nights over here."

Oh, no! Now what do I pack? Right, you've gotta pack an even SMALLER version of your stuff. The third version of your house. Just enough stuff to take to Maui for a coupla days. You get over to Maui--I mean you're really getting extended now, when you think about it. You got stuff ALL the way back on the mainland, you got stuff on another island, you got stuff on this island. I mean, supply lines are getting longer and harder to maintain. You get over to your friend's house on Maui and he gives you a little place to sleep, a little bed right next to his windowsill or something. You put some of your stuff up there. You put your stuff up there. You got your Visine, you got your nail clippers, and you put everything up. It takes about an hour and a half, but after a while you finally feel okay, say, "All right, I got my nail clippers, I must be okay." That's when your friend says, "Aaaaay, I think tonight we'll go over the other side of the island, visit a pal of mine and maybe stay over."

Aww, no. NOW what do you pack? Right--you gotta pack an even SMALLER version of your stuff. The fourth version of your house. Only the stuff you know you're gonna need. Money, keys, comb, wallet, lighter, hanky, pen, smokes, rubber and change. Well, only the stuff you HOPE you're gonna need.

Oh George, how we miss you. That's f-in classic right there...sob.

Friday, August 22, 2008

Nightclub . . . Church?

I dunno if it's because my brain is not as functional or stressed as normal, but I found this extremely hilarious...enough to pass it on to others!

See how Platex shows women how to put on a bra...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Back from the dread...

So forgive any random misspellings, I'm typing this one handed. Why? Cause I'm a tard and feel like I'm missing from civilization.

First, the wedding went well. Since I had stopped therapy and using the stretch bands after doc #3 told me I shouldn't have been doing them, I had gained a little weight. Just enough to SQUEEZE into the bridesmaid dress and feel like a stuffed sausage, pictures will come as soon as I get some, but trust me, they won't be pretty. I pray that none of the elder folk had a heart attack with the eyefull they got THAT night!!!

Moving on....

So I'm back after surgery, which was last Wednesday the 13th of August (what is up with me and 13), and turns out I started off with a scratchy throat the morning of surgery which turned into a full blown cold within 2 days afterwards. I'm sure I've been such a joy to Loverboy, and he's been so sweet...even though he has caught the hellion cold that I had. The night of surgery I sent him for original Listerine (the nasty brown medicine tasting stuff since that's the only stuff that helps with a sore throat), orange juice, and chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream...what a sweetheart!!! So now I can't hear anything, taste anything (that chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream is wasting away in the freezer!!!), my head is stuffed, but at least I can breathe today!!! I'm sure the neighbors think I'm deaf or having a fight with Loverboy since the TV volume is up so high...

But back to the surgery. I'm partially typing this one handed, part with my hand in a giant black sling that I hope to be out of within the next week or so (if I can get the docs assistant to actually call me back). I was supposed to have the surgery this week, but since the doc was going to be on vacation, we scheduled it for the week prior. No problem there, except a follow up visit is supposed to be 7-10 days post surgery to get the stitches removed and see how everything is healing up. I may have to postpone some of this message due to therapy coming up at 6pm tonight...yup, this doc is aggressive and I started therapy the day after surgery. The one thing that really bothers me, aside from the fact that I can't do anything including dressing myself decently, is that I can't put my hair back! I try to have Loverboy help, but lets say he never had a doll to practice on, and has no idea how I put my hair in a bun. It's nervewracking, even more than the tightened muscles in the upper outer bicept part of my arm. Oh well, at least it was my left instead of my dominant right arm...thanks for that!!!

Again, back to surgery...I went in at 8:30am expecting to go to surgery by 10:30ish or so. I remember nothing after I was wheeled into the surgery room and was given the anesthesia through the IV (which took them 4 times to find since I was fasting and my veins were hiding, so I told them just to use the vein in my arm that I use to donate blood...there's some nice purple going on all over my arm because of that). Loverboy kept me company as we watched ER on the room TV(I know, appropriate). After surgery, I woke up in tears as I felt like the left side of my body was being ripped off...the nurses were great and gave me lots of pain meds (which I had previously denied the block since I didn't know how much the doc would be giving me). I was out for another hour or so, then woke up back in the room. Loverboy told me that it wasn't 2 torn labrums, the doc had shown him picks that I had ripped the whole top half of my shoulder, hence I wasn't gaining any strength when I was doing therapy with the other docs. When I hurt myself, I go all out, I tell ya! 3 stitches and some cleaning on the inside, 4 holes on the outside with 2-3 stitches per incision area...exquisit job considering what they were working with.

I was in and out for another 2 hours before I asked if we could go home. Slept the entire way home, don't remember coming in the house, then woke up 2 hours later totally dehydrated. I couldn't eat or drink anything at the hospital due to nausea (again, more meds for that). Didn't try to eat anything else until 8pm with the meds: hydrocodone. I took 2, then my system did not approve of then, nor my sandwich, 2 hours later...I was in hell for the next 3 hours until I passed out (after freaking out Loverboy with my digestive pyrotechnics), until 5:30am when I was able to have some Special K with strawberries and 1, just 1, hydrocodone. Helped me pass out again until after noon. I realized later on the next night that hydrocodone does nothing to dull the pain, it just gives you a loopy feeling that makes you want to pass out rather than DEAL with the pain. I came to that conclusion after Loverboy was installing a ceiling fan (the previous one had been destroyed when we had a waterfall coming in the living room one night while in the process of fixing the roof last summer) and I had taken another one since I could not get comfortable again to relax. My head felt fuzzy, nothing had dulled the pain, but I felt detatched from the world. Loverboy said he didn't like them either, he was on them when he had his knee surgery earlier in the year.

So now it's 5 days post surgery, I'm finally getting over the cold, though I still can't hear, but I can do laundry one handed, clean out the dishwasher, and make my own sandwich. I've got therapy in a little less than 2 hours, and at least this time I'll be in decent clothing. Pre-surgery, I was told to bring a huge, stretch t-shirt to wear after surgery since I wouldn't be able to put on a shirt, much less undershirt wear. So that meant that when I went to therapy the next day, I was still in that fashion since I was told NOT to remove the arm sling/brace. The therapist was great, helped me put on a gown for therapy, and helped put the shirt on underneath the sling for going home. She's my new hero! And she helped put my hair in a ponytail!!! Definately my new hero!!!

But that's that, for now. I was able to type this mostly with both hands, but not without my fair share of spelling corrections. That's it for now, I'm glad to be able to read everyone's blogs again, how I missed being in touch with the world. Thank you to everyone who gave warm wishes and prayers to a speedy recovery, you have no idea how much those are helping me in this process. If you know me, you know I'm not the kind who likes to sit around, whether I have to or not. Movies and books are waiting, but I just can't get into it with this wonderful weather outside. Maybe I'll sit on the front porch tomorrow and read in the warm sun...doesn't seem like there will be too many more of those left according to the weather man.

Hugs, and have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Countdown till I go nuts...

So today is exactly a week from when I get to go under the knife (so to speak, it's endoscopic, so I'll just have some little holes rather than getting chopped up like something on the table at a BeniHana). Things are crazy as always, and I'm learning that you HAVE to specify situations and scenarios to your insurance company and the doctors office even though you never thought you did before...and try not to schedule everything at the same time cause you'll go insane, which is where I'm headed...

Hence hell #1: Even though I only went to the emergency room once when I had a car accident on 4/19/08, everything after that event NEEDS to be stated that they are not associated with the car accident. Every doc appt, every physical therapy appointment, anything doctor related...has been billed to State Farm assuming that it has relation to the car accident. Why is this being billed this way when I never told the other locations about the car accident? Because Blue Cross of Washington is retarded, and they assummed everything was related and has now billed everything under the sun to the company of the biotch who hit me in APRIL!!! I'm just learning this now, just got off the phone with a lady the other day, and I still don't understand how this can happen. One does not assume that appointments are based on one incident. Sure, it's also the left side of the body, shoulder/collarbone region, but it was never stated that anything other than the trip to the ER on the night of the accident should all be billed together. You know who get's screwed? ME!!! I get to call ALL the places who sent bills to State Farm and send them a written letter stating that my appointment on such and such date, such and such time, was NOT attributed to the car accident from 4/19/08, and that until you submit that document to the appropriate parties, you will not get paid from insurance because they are life sucking assholes and don't know how to bill things correctly. I've got 8 places to call, and I can't even begin to state how much this sucks.

Hellish moment #2: I'm standing up in a wedding for a friend, and Loverboy is the best man. The dress is gorgeous, I'm not. I have to SQUEEZE to get into this dress since my shoulder has progressively been getting worse and I can no longer work out to the status that I was previously when I purchased the dress. Can I get a larger dress? Nope, wedding is Friday evening. I've discussed this with the Maid of Honor (she calls herself the Bitch of Honor) that I will need help with gauze and duct tape...which I believe she was going to use as well since bra's don't seem to go with this dress...and neither do I for the moment, but that'll change. I've got what seems like extra boobs of skin beneath my armpits that are preventing the dress from closing...oh well, a million and one uses, ya know? Oh, and I have to fix the clasp above the zipper because when Loverboy was helping me put it on, he decided to clasp it first before having an all out brawl trying to close it...needless to say when he got tired, the zipper won, and then the clasp flew across the room...I think it hit Goofy cause he took off running into the other room.

Hell #3: I've only got 3 more full days of work after today, and when I say full, it's a 10+ hour day full. The past 2 days I've worked 10+ hours to play catch up since I was on vacation at the beginning of July for a week (ah, I miss that...), and no one felt the need to, oh, work on things needed to be done rather than pawn them off on my desk? Plus, being in research, you have monitors come in to check on things with the studies and make sure everything is going as planned. Well, I've got one monitor here today, and one coming on Tuesday of next week...and I'm swamped as it is!!! Plus tomorrow I can't stay late since I've got the rehearsal dinner for Friday's wedding tomorrow night at 6pm!!!

Hell #4: I've still got to get my short term disability forms filled out so I can get paid when I'm off...otherwise 6 weeks of no pay is 6 months of me eating Ramen noodles to keep up with the bills. I'd use vacation, but I've only got a week and a half worth of vacation, a couple days of sick time, and a personal day. Do I really wanna use all that time and then come back with nothing? I've been here 7 years, they can put me on short term disability with no problem.

Hell #5: I need to start looking for a lawyer to see if I've actually got a case of medical malpractice, since it seems that my shoulder has gotten worse, and it's probably due to the physical therapy and/or the cortisone shots that I wasn't supposed to have, and due to the lack of getting me to surgery before things did get progressively worse.

Hell #6: This is my hell of the day, so far. I have a patient who came in late and I'm only scheduled to see her for an hour and a half until I have another patient coming in. Said patient called telling me her life story of dealing with crabby bus drivers, how she ended up by Navy Pier, and that she'd be a "little" late...yeah lady, I've only got another 1/2 hour scheduled for you since you can't seem to make it on time even when you had to reschedule from the day before because you couldn't seem to get downtown...I should just tell her to go home. I'm going to go grab her from the lobby because some patients KNOW how to come in when they're supposed to. The lady ended up shifting my whole day, and now I'm going to have to stay late again...ARG!!! And DON'T tell me about your sexual disfunctions, that's NOT in the paperwork.

Hell #7: It's already 2:15pm, I haven't had anything to eat due to running around like a Banshee in heat. This is the first time I've been stable for more than 5 minutes without having someone page me on the overhead, or an email that I need to promptly respond to. My belly is scorning me for forgetting the banana that is sitting on the counter...but then again maybe it'll be good enough to fit into that dress on can only hope.

Hell #8: Apparently it wasn't until late last night after I took a shower that the toilet took a shit...literally. The toilet is busted...again...but this time instead of having to jimmy it to work, it will have to be replaced completely. Just what Loverboy wanted to do the day he has to get his Tux fitted...yes, I said Tux. Nice change from just doing suits as previously decided by the groom...

Hell #9: This weather is nasty hot, and if you know Chicago, the weather can be thick enough to swim in. So while we don't have air conditioning in the house, when I have the surgery, I'll have to be propped up so I don't roll over on my shoulder...which means I'll have to sleep in the living room on the couch. This means I'll be subjected to the cats, sounds of hairballs and other upchucking on the carpet, scampering to find the house mice (which I'm ready to go on a rampage since I saw turds on the stove again last night), and the stickyness that has come to be in the house while Loverboy sleeps in the bed where he finally built a bedframe and added a window so he could put in an air conditioner. Yup, I will not have the luxury of comforted slumber.

So there's the latest. At least I was able to thwart another doc bill by telling them that it wasn't submitted to the insurance, so I wait until they clarify that...but at least I don't have to clarify that for them, unlike the insurance company (I'm going to call and talk to a should never have been submitted that way, and it's not my fault so they should have to fix it).

ARG, I need a drink...this wedding just can't get here soon enough!!! Why do things always go to crap all at the same time? I need a stomach is going to start eating itself. I can just hear my stomach saying "Helllloooooo" like from that Seinfeld episode of the girlfriend with the talking stomach.

Wednesday, July 30, 2008


As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Poor (Failure)

Take'>">Take the test!

I am so not a 1930's wife, then again, I don't think I know anyone that would be...

Saturday, July 19, 2008

If you haven't hear or seen the internet sensation from the Whedon brothers (makers of Buffy and Serenity), then you're in for a treat with Dr. Horrible!!! I read about this in the Chicago RedEye and HAD to check it out last night. I was laughing my butt off!!!

Here's some info:
During the WGA strike Joss Whedon started writing a three part musical series for the internet. Each of the three episodes will be approximately ten minutes each.
Co-writers for the internet feature are Joss’ brothers Zack and Jed and Jed’s FiancĂ© Maurissa Tancharoen . The writing and shooting have been completed and the series is now in post-production.
“It’s the story of a low-rent super-villain, the hero who keeps beating him up, and the cute girl from the laundromat he’s too shy to talk to.” says Whedon.
“Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” will star Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Horrible, Nathan Fillion as Captain Hammer, Felicia Day as Penny and a cast of dozens.”

So check this out ASAP. Superheroes? Villans? Singing blog? It's great! This won't be around long, and I was laughing my butt'll see why if you check this out...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I was looking around at Redneck humor, and came across this fine example of our nations "special" people!


You are a Redneck if: You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
The trunk of your car is tied down and you're not hauling anything.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You've hit on somebody in a VD clinic.
Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
You had romantic thoughts when you heard sheep bleat.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.
And finally.... your richest relative buys a new house and calls you up to help him take the wheels off.

Hope you feel a little smarter after that...but hope it didn't give you some ideas for future use.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Lushy drunk and text messages...

Oh how I miss being on vacation with the group Loverboy and I were with last week, they are just a BUNDLE of laughs!!! One thing that sticks in my mind, and makes me giggle uncontrollably, was the way we'd talk in "text" code when the kids were around (not mine, I am without, but everyone else brought their whelps on vacation too). If it's one thing that chaps my hyde, it's how people feel the need to text rather than actually calling someone on the phone!!! Some were the standard WTF, and OMG...we'd literally spell it out, like Oh...Emm...Gee, when the kids were around, just to be retarded since most of them had brought their phones and were texting their friends while sitting around the campfire, or around a table full of jello shots like we lushes. Here are some of the NEW and IMPROVED text abbrevs that we came up with while heavily liquored up...

GBG...Go Blow Goats (I have no idea where that one came from, but it was the most popular one of the week)

FK...Fudge Knuckle (another one I'm oblivious about)

GAMF...Gay Ass Mother F@cker (yeah, at least we were saying the letters more than the phrases)

KMA...Kiss My Ass (not original, but it was funny saying it around the kids)

GFAG...Go F@ck a Goat (I dunno what was up with goats that week)

IDK...I Don't Know

BOB...was used as Bring Own Beer (rather than BYOB...we were too lazy to use the extra Y), Battery Operated Boyfriend, or Back Off B! matter how it was used, no one knew which one you were talking about...

There were others, but I was too sauced to remember the rest. Next year we're bringing up a recorder and taping our twisted conversations so we'll actually know what we were talking about...some of the 2am conversations were classic.

Speaking of lushes, we were at a lake called Eagle Lake in Michigan and they're known for something called the Gwangee monster. Don't ask me, but they had t-shirts with an image of the monster and that saying. Sometime during the week, someone talked about making up a t-shirt, but with a different theme than a lake monster. And so the "Eagle Lake Liquor Pig's" were born. Once we get a design, I'll be sure to post a pic, but that's what we ended up calling each other all week, the Liquor Pigs. We'll also have that person's nickname on the front of the shirt once we get a design...for example, I'm Queen Pyro due to my obsession with fire, Gina is the Jello Goddess, Steve is GBG (hence he's the one that started that "text" that took over for the week), Loverboy is The Brain (since he knows how to fix everything)...etc. Not that we didn't live up to our names, jello shots (multiple) almost every night by our friend Gina, bottles of Hurricaine mix(yummy!!!) and Grand Marnier (I have Loverboy trained), Rum, Vodka and orange juice, you name it!!! Man, I need 2 weeks up there next time!!!

So remember those text abbreviations next time you feel the urge to text someone, maybe it'll start a new trend?

Back to the grind...

So last week I was off...yup, first vacation in 2 years!!! Man, how I miss not doing ANYTHING productive. Loverboy and I had gone up to Eagle Lake in Michigan, about 3 hours away, with some friends. All we did all week was jet-ski, boat, tube, fish, relax...and eat! OMG, I came home and realized that a week of eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, smores around the campfire, and anything someone put something in front of the table, I had gained 7 pounds. 7 pounds in one week of hot dogs, brats and burgers!!! Wow, no wonder the bridesmaid dress I tried on was a little hard to close in the back!!! But that gives me 3 weeks to loose that, and then some (not that I plan on loosing more than 7 pounds, it would be nice, but as long as I can get rid of the stuff I gained last week, I'll be thrilled!!!) Even since Saturday when we came home, I've lost 2 pounds...that's 2 pounds in 3 days of not eating constant crap!!! That means no more Mountain Dew, more water, more working out on the XL Glider (I was on that for an hour last night, and I feel sore but wonderful today), and taking the dogs out for pre-surgery walks to actually get a little more fit prior to being stuck on my keister for about 6 weeks.

Speaking of health, found out that Loverboy's Aunt was having chest pains and shortness of breath about a week ago, while we were in Michigan. Turns out she had some blockage and they ended up performing quadruple bypass surgery last night. She's doing great, and we're going to go see her tonight. Loverboy and I were talking and I was asking about his family medical history. He also had an Uncle who's had 4 open heart surgeries, and he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, eats right, exercises everyday, and still has health issues!!! His Dad? Doesn't go to the hospital. So now this has us both spooked, and that we both need to start eating better and laying off, if not completely getting rid of, the mountains of Mountain Dew we drink a week. I told him to go for a physical, he's in his 30's now and should at least see if there's anything we need to be aware of at the moment (like we need anything else to worry about). I already know if I go to the docs they're going to say I'm overweight (no shit Sherlock), I've got high blood pressure (do you SEE what my life is like?), high cholesterol (which I'm going to try to change that real quick, but then again ALSO found out it runs in my Dad's side of the family), and my stress level is extremely high (again, no shit). Actually, I'll get to find out all that info within the next couple of weeks, I've got to get a physical before the surgery...

Which brings me to the surgery. Apparently August 20th was a bad date for the doc, he was going to be out of town. Then either schedule it earlier, or later...I chose earlier. So now the surgery is going to be August 13th (lucky 13 baby!!!) and August 8th at 8:30am I'm going to have the schpeal on what is going to take place and when I need to start fasting, etc. Thing is, August 8th is also the date of my friends wedding...but thank goodness we're not meeting till after noon (it's a 7:30pm wedding). You can't get any closer than that!!! So I'm not watching any movies or reading any books till after the surgery, I already know that I'm going to be going crazy, I can't sit still more than a couple hours at a time, and if I'm in front of the computer, I'll be hen pecking all day!

But as always, there's been a lot more stuff going on, and I'm still waiting for the silver lining to show her face. The Friday before we went on vacation, I received a letter that I had received a scholarship for the 2008-2009 nursing program semesters. Yup, it would've all been paid for, except I think for books and uniform (which the uniform and supplies themselves cost over $180, hadn't gotten the books yet). I dropped from my classes last night and decided that I was going to take the next 2 semesters off so I could just work, pay off bills, plan the wedding, and get my health back. I have to resubmit a letter of intent to try to get back in the program for the 2009 fall season (the program only starts in the fall so all the students start together for that year). They don't hold seats, and apparently I knew a lot of others that DIDN'T make the I was extremely lucky to actually make it. Also, got a call yesterday from a girl who was in my Microbiology class during the spring semester. She's a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) over at the hospital 15 minutes from my house that I was looking to get a job at while in school during the nursing program. Apparently her boss is hiring, so she called me to see if I was interested. Double ARG!!! I told her what was going on, and that if they were hiring again in the spring, I'd be all set. 6 weeks in a sling and 4 months of physical therapy is basically putting a lot of things on hold for the next 6 months.

So in the last 3 months I've: a)made it into the nursing program, b)found out I needed shoulder surgery, so I needed to drop out of the nursing program, c)I need to reapply for the nursing program for the fall of 2009, d)I lost a job opportunity because I'm going to have surgery in a couple of weeks, e)I need to get a full physical before the surgery on August 13th, f)I'm standing up in a wedding on August 8th, g)I have a wedding to plan (and it may be sooner than later the way that Loverboy keeps picking dates), h)I'm having surgery on August 13th and I'll be immobile for 6 weeks...and I'm ending at h because if I write anymore, I'm going to freak myself out. Notice that I haven't said anything about the garden or the house? That's because that's going to come at a later date. Hopefully the tomatoes won't go bad by the beginning of September, I've already got a lot of Basil and Oregano, and the Hungarian hot wax peppers are going nuts! I've already got my first full grown cucumber (yum!), I've got beans that are flowering, and I've already had enough raspberries to put on top on some cereal! The lettuce is doing well, never thought I could get that going in a hanging container, and the marigolds are going crazy!!! As for the house, Loverboy has the beams for the wall and the ceiling, but isn't starting another project until the Oldsmobile is driveable once again.

So once again, me complaining again. It was so nice last week doing nothing but relaxing...except for the gaining 7 pounds deal. But again, I've got 6 weeks of rest and relaxation, but it won't seem like that because I won't be able to do anything but sit there (I'll be tearing my hair out within a couple of days!!!)

Well, that's my deal for the day. It's almost 9am, and I've got patients coming in, phone calls to make, and a desk full of papers that I need to get organized. Till next time...

Friday, June 27, 2008

Can't I get a break?

I want to cry. I mean REALLY cry. More than I was last night...

So yesterday was my insane day of doing everything under the sun and then some. The only thing I didn't get to was going to the recycling center to drop off the mountain of recyclable stuff that's been infesting the front closet. I went for lunch with my friend Bobo, then went to my doc appt., stopped off at my folks house to drop off some Disney pictures for the kids, went to the wake (and yes, Linds, it was S's Dad), and actually made a pit stop off at a friends house because she couldn't give her cat an injection. Miss K has a kitty who's 16 years old and is suffering from kidney failure, so they give her an injection with fluid so she doesn't dehydrate. Well, Miss K and her future sis in law, Miss A, tried giving kitty the injection. Kitty meowed really loud, instinct made Miss K take out needle. They tried again, couldn't do it. Miss A called me asking if I could come over and help, not sure why since I'd never dealt giving others needles before, but maybe it's because I'm going into the nursing field? So went over, helped out, all was okay. Now normally Miss K doesn't do this, but her parents (owners of kitty) are in some fabulous island adventure going to a niece's wedding, and Miss K was in charge of kitty duty. I don't know what I'd have done if I wasn't able to go over there and help and kitty apparently had some problems before Miss K's parents came home on Sunday. I'm going over again on Sat morning for another liquid injection for kitty.

So speaking of medical field, here's what this doctor did without an MRI, but LOOKING at the previous MRI from doctor #2, and doing stretches on both shoulders to compare and see what was going on. Verdict? I've got 2 torn labrums in my left shoulder. Yup! I'm not nuts like the other 2 docs though. This one told me that a) I shouldn't have been sent to therapy since it wasn't shoulder impingement (weakness) like both previous doctors had diagnosed and it could be aggravating the shoulder, b) I should never have been given cortisone shots, and yes, I had 2 in a 6 month time period, c) an open MRI is basic crap, you can't tell anything since there's light that can interfere in the actual interpretation of the data, and d) I'm going to need surgery to repair the 2 tears, be in a sling for 6 weeks, and have physical therapy up to 4 months, and no driving during the 6 weeks (yeah, well, I wasn't supposed to be driving with a cast on my foot when I broke it during the Turkey Bowl of 2003, but that didn't stop me either).

So that means that I need surgery. Yup, fun fun, but at least I'll be out of work for 6 weeks (and bring on the short term disability!!!). Sucky thing nursing program this year. ARGGGGG!!!! OMG, I cried so much last night, I thought Loverboy would have to build a dam in the kitchen to keep me from flooding out the house. This means that I won't be eligible until next August for the nursing program, and I'm not necesarily guaranteed to be in the program. Plus I've paid for all the classes, the nursing fees, got my uniform, paid for my background check, fought tooth and nail to be accepted, and now I can't do it. What gets me even more was if doc #1 had caught this, I'd be done with physical therapy by now and ready to go (the spring semester was just Microbiology, I wasn't doing clinicals, and didn't need to lift stuff!). How do these doctors get paid so much when they treat patients like a fast food drive through?
"I'll take a double labrum tear with a side of fries and cortisone shot, no ketchup please."
How is one supposed to react to that? I kick myself that I didn't go to the 3rd doctor first! And they're ALL orthopaedic doctors, they were all found based off referrals, and I'm paying them for what, to shoo me out of their office saying that I'm fine, just do some exercises, get an injection, and we'll see you in a couple of months? So I've got 2 docs that I paid for crap. Aren't you supposed to get a reimbursement if they do a shoddy job? Like if you go to McD's and get a chicken wing that's got feathers in it, you can either get your money back, or another back that doesn't have feathers (this actually happened to me...and the second set had pinfeathers too...I never ordered the wings again). That just gets me started even more...must...calm...rage...

Other things I can't do...quit my job. Bring on the Pain (in the words of my girl Linds). I wanted to be done with this place prior to my friends looks like I'll be here through Thanksgiving. At least I'll be gaining vacation time, 401K, and holiday pay. Hopefully I can get the surgery done right after the wedding, and still make it by taking another class to gain more points for school for the program. Sometime within the next year I do have to get a job as a CNA or else I'll loose my place on the state registry, which I'm not taking the CNA class again if I don't have too (more money, more punching myself in the head for not keeping up with things).

So here's what's going on within the next couple of days, whether this all goes through or not.
1. drop off all stuff at recycle place
2. burn all the rest of the wood from the back deck (whoo-hoo, my passion)
3. tend to said garden (and take updated pics)
4. clean out the fridge...somethings smelling gamey and I plan to find out what it is
5. clean the kitchen counters/stove/table/etc...
6. cry
7. dishes
8. clean off computer desk so it's actually functional (I bought some containers to hold some things, but they became overstocked with crap)
9. I've called Prairie State about having to drop from the program, now I need to see if I can find a class to replace it with this coming semester, and see how much I'm going to be out by not being able to be in it ($100 deposit for program, and background $40 check)
10. cry some more
11. try to make some stuff to sell on etsy for my operation (whoo hoo, that's going to be pricey)
12. laundry
13. exercise on the XL glider until I pass out
14. see how the bridesmaid dress fits (if I need a bigger size, I'm doing 2 water days a week until the wedding, about 5 weeks away)
15. have to plan a bachelorette party for the bride with the bitch of honor (her words, not mine)
16. take more stuff to the thrift store/post on Freecycle
17. cry again, check to see if dam has ruptured
18. call nursing program friends and say that I won't be in class with them this fall
19. mow and weedwack the yard
20. put up more birdfeeders and shepherd hooks (watch for dive bombing hummingbirds)
21. get stuff out of living room (couches, TV, etc) so Loverboy and grunt buddies can start ripping out the living room ceiling
22. bills
23. de-cobwebbing the house (this usually just needs to be done on a monthly basis...usually)
24. clean out the's smelling like mold, I don't know why
25. ask Loverboy why Blazer smells like mold
26. cry a little bit more
27. make lists of everything needed for vacation in less than 2 weeks (first vacation in 2 years)
28. I have no idea where sleep is going to fit in all this
29. brush the diva because the house is starting to look like a barber shop gone wild
30. I have no idea what to put in here...I just wanted everything to come out on an even number

So that's on the agenda at the moment. I think grocery shopping is ok, so that's one less thing I have to worry about. This is what I get to get done within the next 4 days (Friday through Monday), then next week will be a whole other ballgame. I'm going to hide in my office and hope no one needs help today...I've got enough to worry about.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

What a day...

Well, it's only 10:30am, and it's already become "One of those days".

I woke up at 5am to the "brown eye" once again (it's becoming a habit this week) since his food bowl was empty and he felt the need to wake me up to let me know.

I stepped on one of the retards digestive pyrotechnical hairballs on my way to get my clothes from the front closet. No socks. Ewwww!!!!

Got into work and found out that an important meeting is being postponned till Friday at, that's not so much a bad thing, that gives me extra time to review all the paperwork a little more (or should I say at all...I've been slacking since it hasn't been finalized).

Just found out that a friend's (actually my ex) father died and I never received the email! There were actually 2 emails sent from him to a group of us, one saying he found out his Dad had throat cancer about 6 weeks ago and would be starting chemo last Friday, and the second to say that he had passed away on Monday night. The wake is tomorrow night, so at least I was able to find out about it before then. Just got off the phone with him and talked, it's been a while since we've talked (I think my birthday when everyone was buying me Long Islands and wine coolers, not a good mix). It was nice, and I hadn't realized some things that I hadn't known before. It sad to say, but this is a serious wake up call for him to quit smoking, and he's going to get his fiance to quit too which is even better. Now if I can just get Loverboy to quit...

Speaking's the update on the no smoking, minus the 5 times I cheated due to stress:

My Stats: Your Quit Date is: 1/9/2008
Time Smoke-Free: 168 days, 12 hours, 22 minutes and 8 seconds
Cigarettes NOT smoked: 4213
Lifetime Saved: 1 month, 2 days, 4 hours
Money Saved: $1,176.00
thanks to

Whoo-hoo!!! No WONDER I can pay my bills again!!! Last time I cheated was back in April when I was in the car accident. I definately feel better, I can smell better, my clothes doesn't smell (unless Loverboy is around me when I'm folding laundry), and I've gained an extra month of life from this! I'm sending that link to the ex. Maybe it'll give him some extra perspective. I also told him about Chantix, and about this quit smoking book Bobo had me read...well, partially read. I only got into about 4 chapters before I couldn't do it anymore.

Tomorrow I've got a doc appt with a NEW doc to look at my shoulder. If this guy doesn't know what's wrong, then I'm going to wait until my shoulder falls off until I go to another doc. At least I got to take the day off of work since the doc is all the way out by my folks (about an hour away). Bonus is that I get to have lunch with my Bobo (oh how I miss being so far from him and the boys)!!!

So it turned out to be an ice cream for breakfast morning. On the way to work, I KNEW there was somthing about today, I picked up some orange juice, a chocolate muffin for a snack later on, and a Ben & Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream bar...cherry ice cream with sweet, dark cherries AND a dark chocolate coating...yup, definately an ice cream for breakfast day. I'm glad I'm an adult and can do this, my Mom would NEVER have allowed us to just eat ice cream for breakfast (now waffles with ice cream is a totally different scenario). So here's what actually took place AFTER getting my tasty treat...

So now it's off to finish up the mound of paperwork on my desk, wait for the 30 page fax of stuff that needs to be answered, phone calls (or rather leaving messages...), faxing over documentation and try to get this one guy to give me his doctor's name and number so I can get surgery details. When I get out of here, I get to go home to drop off a funnel cake kit to a lady from Freecycle (this woman seems weird...she can't come by to pick it up because I think they have one car, and when I ask for directions to her house, her husband needs to give me directions cause she doesn't know how to get to her own house from the K-Mart down the street) before taking the pups back to the vet for their booster shots...and THEN I get to go over the paperwork that I was supposed to review last night, but I've got tomorrow to do that too...tee hee. MAN, I'm such a slacker....

What else...OH, I wanna work on some stuff for ETSY (, you can check out my barren shop at ) , weed the garden, get all the recycle stuff ready to dump off tomorrow morning so I don't have to wake up early on Saturday (oh, sweetness of sleep), get some stuff packed to take to my Mom's tomorrow after the doc's appt and before the wake...haha...but tonight I get to BURN stuff!!!

Yes, I'm a mighty pyro that may do more harm than good. I've almost (well, multiple times almost) lit a gas can on fire by pouring gas into a "not starting so good" fire...imagine someone running and shaking the tip of a gas can that's got a train of fire from the fire barrel to the gas can...priceless I can tell ya. Since we're tearing up the back deck, rather than buying a dumpster and putting TONS of wood (okay, maybe not TONS, but a lot) of wood into a landfill, we burn it, then just throw out the ashes and nails. Easy peasy, not even a 10th of what would have gone in the local landfill. And I get my kicks for burnin stuff...except for the fact that I smell like a bonfire the next morning when I go to work, no matter how much I scrub in the shower.

Hairballs, morning "brown eye", ice cream, paperwork galore, death, doc appts...I think I've covered more than enough bases for one day. Time for a nap!!!

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Newest addition!!!

So, you've met the moose, the diva, the freaky cat we call Goofy, now here's the newest addition to our family!!! Meet Mr. Max (not my choice of names, but we just call him Max).

The fluffiest, fire tipped Siamese I've ever met (and the only fire tipped Siamese I've ever met). He looks big, but he's all fur. He weighs something like 7 pounds, as opposed to fat ass who's 16 (and fat ass being the other cat in the house). Actually we don't really call him Max, we call him retard. He's a great cat, laid back, head butts you for attention, begs with the dogs...but he'll be sleeping on the couch, then fall off backwards. He rubs up against the dogs then runs away. He licks the carpet, then wonders why he throws up hair balls all the time (and they're not pretty). He and Goofy get in an all out brawl, Goofy will pin him on his back, lick him in the head, and run as if to say "You've been beaten, yon retard, now feel the wrath of my kitty lick". Cracks me up every time. He pretty much sleeps most of the time, and you can't hear him purring, but you can feel it. He's got a meow that sounds like he's got's a light partial meow, another of the many things that cracks me up about this cat.

Now Max was actually my Loverboy's Mom's cat, but she couldn't bring him with her when she moved, so I suggested that he stay with us since he got along well with the demon cat (Goofy) last time she stayed with us. Loverboy added that if we were going to claim him, get him declawed and get his shots, he was going to become ours and that she could visit, but he was staying put. I thought it was a great idea, now the pups are teamed up against the cats...and I think the felines have the upper hand.
If you forgot who Goofy was, he got out today when Loverboy, aka Bob Villa, was trying to figure out what was going to happen with the deck that we're ripping apart from the back of the house.

And here's freak boy himself, trying to make a run for it after eating grass like it was going out of style. This is where I get the brown eye in the morning...disgusting little cretin.

So I had some fun with these two after stopping off at the local supermarket club (Sam's Club) and picked up some giant cans of tuna to make a tuna casserole. It's just so much easier to open one big can and find out what you're going to do with the rest rather than opening 5 or 6 cans just for one meal. That's just plain wasteful, and a pain in the keister to drain all that tuna (yup, if you haven't guessed by now, I'm a bit lazy). I put the can on the floor to see if Max and Goofy would go for it, and got the most hilarious pics!

Goofy looks like his head is getting swallow up by this huge can!!! If you look at Goofy's face in the third pic, it looks like he's yelling at Max to hurry up, it's HIS turn. Ah....brotherly love, and it's all for a can of tuna greater than the size of their heads.

And finally, Goofy letting us know that this was delish with his little pink tongue working it's magic. I'd love to find a can of tuna the size of my head.
Better yet, a bottle of sangria twice the size of my head...I'd dig that!

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Laugh of the day

The pastor asked if anyone in the congregation would like to express praise for answered prayers.

A lady stood and walked to the podium.

She said, 'I have praise. Two months ago, my husband, Jim, had a terrible bicycle wreck and his scrotum was completely crushed. The pain was excruciating and the doctors didn't know if they could help him' you could hear an audible gasp from the men in the congregation as they imagined the pain that poor Jim experienced.

She continued, 'Jim was unable to hold me or the children and every move caused him terrible pain. We prayed as the doctors performed a delicate operation. They were able to piece together the crushed remnants of Jim's scrotum and wrap wire around it to hold it in.' Again, the men in the congregation squirmed uncomfortably as they imagined the horrible surgery performed on Jim.

She continued, 'Now, Jim is out of the hospital and the doctors say, with time, his scrotum should recover completely.' All the men sighed with relief.

The pastor rose and tentatively asked if anyone else had anything to say.

A man rose and walked to the podium. He said, 'I'm Jim and I just want to tell my wife, the word is "sternum."
I am such a fan of ThermaCare heat wraps, and NOT a fan of deviled eggs made by our local grocery store chain, Jewel. I don't think vinegar belongs in eggs!!! EWWW, I seriously almost upchucked after one bite!!!

But enough about the devilish eggs, ThermaCare heat wraps, how you are the only thing keeping me at work today! How you warm my shoulders to the point where I don't feel like my back has become another entity, the hardness or consistency of The Thing from the Fantastic Four (though my feet feel that way right now...where's my PedEgg..sorry, TMI) Another thing to be thankful for, the back to the ThermaCare...why must my thoughts ramble just as much if not more than my mouth?

I have had this problem for as long as humanly possible. I'll start off talking about something, for example, then change the conversation on a dime to something, such as jockey shorts, and end up discussing muffin tops. No actual direction of conversation, it's almost like I feel the need to spew everything that's on my mind in the matter of conversation for fear that I won't be able to speak tomorrow. Well, my writing is just as bad!

But again, back to ThermaCare (I'm trying to be better here, bare with me). The best product ever created! What do you suppose is in this product to help keep it warm for up to 8 hours? I dunno, but it's money baby! My back has been mucho messed up the past couple of days, to the point where it hurts to move, hurts to lie down, hurts to do dishes and laundry (I'm serious!)...and a massage from my lovely friend Ang did the trick...for that day. I'm guessing it has to do with the nerves in my neck again being pressed on my neck bones...yup, looks like I'll be going back to the chiropractor real soon (and I've gone almost a year without going to him except to pick up a new jar of China Gel...Ben-Gay is crap compared to that stuff). So I sit here, content at the moment, writing to you of this lovely item. I should buy stock, looks like I'll be using this stuff for a while, or at least until I can get to the chiro...a girl can only hope...

Now moving on to the PedEgg. Again, a wonderful product! Bought it on a whim (and a Bed Bath and Beyond giftcard while out doing bridal gift shopping) and used it that night while watching "The Last of the Mohicans". Mind you, NOTHING can tear my eyes away from how saucy Hawkeye (Daniel Day Lewis), or yummy Uncas...but I was using this, and seriously was amazed at how well it worked! Now my feet are like leather, I hate shoes and will walk barefoot anywhere I can, but after using this, and rewinding the movie, I loved how my feet felt after that! Thank you PedEgg for an awesome product! If you've got feet, then this is the product for you (if you don't, I appologize for my insensitivity and just scroll down).

So two items that are plus in my book. Just thought I'd share, and it became another rambling post of total crap. Oh well, whatcha gonna do...

Saturday, June 14, 2008

why women are single

So I've been running around like a mad woman all day and come home to 45 emails. Most of them of crap, but still, I felt email love today. I got this from my future Mother in law, who has a sense of humor almost as twisted as mine.

So this is a video on why women are single, and after seeing this, who would blame us? Make sure you have your volume on to get the full effect.

Sunday, June 8, 2008

Finally, pics...

Sorry I hadn't posted these pics sooner, things have been insane the last couple of weeks with work, trying to socialize, working on my Mom's bathroom, finally putting in my garden (that's another post), and dealing with all the rain and storms we've been getting the past couple of days. We were lucky and didn't get hit by the tornados, but Richton Park wasn't. There was a lot of damage done by where I actually get on the train to go to work, a transformer was torn out of the ground, there was a car wash that had it's doors pushed open, houses had their roofs ripped off, power was out over a substantial area...and this happened RIGHT around the time I'd left my friend Melinda's for her daughters 8th grade graduation. Everyone wall calling me to tell me that a tornado had been on and off the ground for over an hour and was headed east bound towards my home. Matt was home, I was not. I called him, told him what everyone was calling me about, and then I left the party to go home.

On my way home, the clouds were swirling everywhere!!! I had actually seen a twister start to form when I was going eastbound on Lincoln Highway in Olympia Fields. It was really cool, but where it was forming wasn't too far from my house. I guess it didn't have enough energy to fully form because I never saw it reach towards the ground again. Got home, it started pouring for about an hour on and off. Then nothing. It sprinkled on and off again, but again, we'd gotten missed by the major parts of the storm. Today again there were flood and tornado warnings. The backyard is a giant slop fest, it would have been the perfect conditions for a mud mosh pit for those at Woodstock. But yet we still kept ourselves busy. Matt's putting up a post in the edge of the yard for the satelite dish since the trees are growing too much, and I'm finally putting in my garden (a month late).

It's a muddy day, but no rest for the weary. But again, this was supposed to be an email about the bruises. Both bruises ended up turning dark purple, almost black in color. I have tissue damage by my right elbow, you can feel the lumps under the skin (it feels weird, but doesn't hurt). So the bruise under my left armpit is completely gone, and the one on my right elbow is just about gone, there's only a little discoloration still on the inside. So now I can say I fell through a floor, and all I got were these stinkin bruises, but I will always be thankful that I didn't do anything more than get some wonderful skin coloring.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Gravity and the Great Badunkidunk

My life is never a dull one. I am the Queen of Klutz, I should be given a padded crown as to not poke my eyes out, and a dress made of bubble wrap as to not break or damage anything internally or externally. I've had my fair share of injuries that, of course, would only happen to yours truly. Freakish accidents and incidents that doctors say "Hmmm...I've never seen it this way before" or "If you'd have broken this just a centimeter more this way, you would need to have surgery". This is not a story of aimlessly stubbing a toe of a stair that jumped out of nowhere, or a 100 pound dog who feels the need to run between your legs from behind, causing you to tumble backwards hitting yourself with the frying pan you were just about to put away, and not even finding out you've broken your collarbone due to being a "macho" woman and lifting a roll of rubber membrane on the roof as to seal it and FINALLY stop those leaks in the kitchen (actually, it wasn't so much as being macho, but I was not going to try to hoist the roll from the oak branch as my Bob Villa other half has wanted to). If you know me, when you read this, you'll say "This would only happen to Dawn"...which is usually said due to a lot of my scenarios. This, however, is the story of me and Gravity....

Now Gravity and I have been battling things out for YEARS...from my acrobatics on Lindsey's trampoline into the bushes, to my wonderful seizure type balancing acts while on Rollerblades (which for some reason I can skate at night, but I always fall when I see cars during the day), to my countless times falling out of trees for no reason (the branch appeared to just let go of the tree), to falling off blocks at Oliver's due to not paying attention to my dancing moves, to just walking normally and tripping on absolutely nothing...I can hear Gravity cackle and mock me, only to plan the next time I will be caught off guard so as I can be pummeled and bashed and's a love hate relationship, but I always seem to hear the phrase "You were lucky how you landed", or "At least you didn't break anything" or "That break could have been a lot worse, and at least you don't need surgery". I've been an array of rainbow colored bruises throughout the years, enough broken bones to have my own "Operation" game named after me, and after this last stunt, I really want my life back.

Saturday night, I meet my sweetie over at his friends house to help put up drywall in the upstairs since he's got twins on the way in, oh, anytime in the next 2 months!!! I'm upstairs, helping to sweep so the boys could put up the rest of the drywall on the wall over the boards to get the wall closed up, and I find a piece of scrap metal that I'm going to put in the pile that Jon had started. I see the boys in the hall, so I figure I could cut through the closet, which still hadn't had the "walls" put up yet. I take a step through the studs, I hear a snap, next thing you know, I'm sitting on my big ol' badunkidunk, covered in drywall dust, my arms are hurting, and I'm staring at a toilet. Yes, I had just fallen one floor below down into the bathroom.

I hear "Dawn?"

"Yeah..." I weakly reply.

"Holy crap (censored to what was actually said), she just went through the floor!"

Yes, I had just fallen through a piece of drywall that was put on the floor to where the duct work and piping were being replaced. Drywall was put there instead of plywood due to it being worked on, that the ladies of the house wanted some privacy while using the downstairs bathroom, and I was not aware that that was drywall so I though nothing of it when I had taken my first step towards to my to date biggest battle with Gravity. I heard the guys running down the steps to where I was sitting in the dark corner of the bathroom. The force that I had brought down with me had broken some kind of plastic container, to which I profusely apologized for as Jon and Andrea (the owners of the house) apologized themselves for a)using drywall as a floor cover, and b)Jon not telling me not to walk there (mind you, it'd been almost 2 years since I'd been upstairs there helping to work on the upstairs, so I didn't realize that part of the ceiling was still missing).

I looked around me and tried to see what I had fallen into the middle of. In front of me was an 8 foot piece of 6 inch cast iron piping leaning up against the wall in front of me. Behind me was razor sharp duct work that was going to be placed where I had just come through. To my right, about 12 inches away, was the toilet. Not even 12 inches to my right was the bathroom wall, which I could have bounced off of had I fallen weirdly. I had fallen perfectly straight down, I didn't hit anything else except for a plastic container, which the homeowners had said had been previously broken, so I did them a favor to make them finally throw it out.

Matt asked if I needed to be brought to the hospital...I believe that if I go to the ER one more time, they'll give me a coupon for a free bottle of vicodin. I was shaky, my legs felt fine, the way I had fallen was still a mystery as that I didn't hurt myself more. My legs were completely fine, and had bent when I landed on my ginormous cushion of a keister. My left armpit had a bit of a rug burn type rash, my right arm was swollen from the elbow to halfway up the arm, I had some pain in my upper left ribs, and there was some pain on my left thigh, which had also assisted me in my fall. Above my right elbow, it looked like I had shaved off some skin, but the swelling made me nervous for a bit. It was kind of hard and squishy, not like a typical injury that I was used to. I stood up, walked outside, and breathed in the cool evening air. I felt nauseous, and just needed some water to relax a bit. I iced my elbow and my armpit, and awaited the wonderful color display that I would await in the days to come.

Sunday I woke up, sore and stiff. I look in the mirror. My left armpit now had what looked to be dark purple and red streaks climbing from behind the actual pit itself, about 8 inches towards my elbow. It looks like demonic ivy trying to grow down my inner arm. My right elbow has a scab and a bruise that is starting to circle the underside of my elbow, and it's still sensitive to the touch and feels kinda squishy. I've got a small bruise high on my left ribcage, I've got a huge black and blue goose egg on my left thigh, and I've got scratches down my spine from dragging down across the drywall. As of today, Tuesday, the bruising is still increasing, I'll post some pictures later on. The neighbors will think I'm a beaten woman.

I talked to one of the phlebotomists here at work about how much damage one has to do to themselves to be concerned about a blood clot (yes, this topic was brought up from my wonderful better half last night after seeing how the colors were increasing upon my arms...freaking me out to the point where I could barely sleep and seeing if my pulse or breathing was changing or getting more difficult)...I showed her my arms, and she cringed saying go talk to the doctors!!! I went to talk to two of our doctors, showed them the arm bruising and they said "Pretty colors". Ha ha...gotta love their expertise. I told them my story, they looked at my colorful appendages, and said they didn't think I'd have to worry about any kind of blood clotting, especially since I was active and didn't have any restriction or joint pain(and the day after the incident, I not only mowed our big yard, but I also used the weed whacker...I don't have time to slow down).

So that is my most recent, and possibly most deadly, run in with Gravity. Oh, never a dull moment with me around, you'll always be on your toes. I pray to have some recoup time before Gravity and I meet up again, I don't think I could stomach anything else seeing how as I ALSO need a physical assessment for the nursing program sometime in the next couple of weeks...and I want to make sure my vibrant colors have dissipated as to not having anyone thing I am being abused (though Gravity does SUCH a good job on it's own).

I'll post recent pics of the increasing colors tonight when I get home. I'm at work, so I might as well start earning my paycheck!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Songs you have to sing in the car...

Well, you don't HAVE to, but if you have any human inkling in your body, you'll at least tap your foot (you're nondriving foot) while shifting around the radio dial...

I Like Big Butts- Sir Mixalot "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." you know you're going to be singing this for the rest of the day now.

Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice...the white version of M.C.Hammer, my youth brings back entertaining images of doing his dancing from this video. Sad I tell ya.

Bitch-Meredith Brooks. Need I say more? You gotta love the looks when you're belting this one out next to a Studebaker with a family of 8.

Barbie Girl- Aqua This one was on the other day, how I miss doing the Barbie Dance on a box at Olivers...sigh...shout out to the best dang club around, and the club where Lindsey's hubby was originally seen! Barbie Girl and knee hi go-go boots...what could make the night any better?

Which brings me to Tubthumpin-Chumbawumba I try to do the drinky dance while in the car with this one. Doesn't work as well as it did while at a club or Lind's wedding.

U and Ur Hand-Pink Maybe this one is just me, but somehow it makes me feel better when I scream "I'm not here for you ready to tame me..." makes me feel more myself than the Martha Stewart homebody that I've become. I miss my inner wild child.

I'm Just a Girl- No Doubt This was pre-Gwen getting all "Wind it Up", "Holla Girl", and yodeling, prior to her having her own clothing and purse line, and when No Doubt was the hottest thing in alternative music. I relish for Gwen to reunite with the band, which I hear is soon.

Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond How can you NOT sing Neil while on the road with the windows down? "Sweet Caroline...a bum bum bum...good times never felt so good...SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD!!!" Ah, a classic. Also one of those songs everyone sings along with while out doing karaoke...other thing I've lost through my domestication...I don't go sing anymore.

Wannabe (If You Wanna Be My Lover)- Spice Girls British pop in the form of women looking like prostitutes, the birth of Girl Power. They still play this on my 80's and today radio station, I bounce in my seat everytime it's on.

Take On Me- A-Ha LOVED this video, the only song that I know these guys actually had. I don't know how that guy can get his voice so high, must not have any kahoneys.

Ironic- Alanis Morrisette Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think? "It's like raaaaa-eee--aaaiiiin...."

Volcano Girls- Veruca Salt Thank you Linds for doing this with me in karaoke...I still do the squeal in my car, I've gotten quite good at it.

I Saw The Sign- Ace of Base

Believe- Cher Powerful song, always hurts my throat cause I sing so loud, maybe I should turn down the volume so I'm not trying to outdo the radio?

King of Wishful Thinking- Go West Ah, my high school days are coming back to me now...

This Kiss- Faith Hill Sweet song from a gorgeous voice, until I chime in.

Foolish Games- Jewel Another avid karaoke song that is requested whenever I go out with friends.

Now this isn't just one song, this is ANYTHING by Sarah her voice, and love all her songs.

I'm Too Sexy- Right Said Fred Show me someone who does sing along this song when it's playing, and I'll show you someone getting b-slapped for lying.

Mambo No. 5- Lou Bega The guy's a man-whore talking about his lady friends...but the song's got a saucy beat.

Aerosmith...another band where I'll sing anything they have on the radio, especially "Ragdoll", "Pink", and "Angel". Unfortunately, I rarely hear them on the radio anymore.

Barenaked Ladies...yet another band I will listen to just about any of their songs, whether I understand the words or not...I'll just make them up, like my friend Bobo who though that the song "Natural Woman" where he thought the words were "You make me feel like a man, I'm a woman..." instead of the actual words of "You make me feel like a natural woman...". Gotta love that kid.

I'm Only Happy When it Rains- Garbage Hey, I dig the darker stuff sometimes.

Two Princes- Spin Doctors

Dirrty- Christina Aguilera One of the songs that makes me feel like a bad girl, even when it's just driving to the grocery store.

La Vida Loca- Ricky Martin I'd do the sexy shoulder shake, but I'd knock myself out driving from the "twins"...there not used to that much movement.

Bring me to Life- Evanescence Gotta love the voice on that gal.

Hazel Eyes- Kelly Clarkson Powerful voice from the first American Idol...look how that shows gone to pot since least we got Daughtry too.

Switch AND Men In Black- Will Smith Gotta do it Big Willie lyrics that get ya bouncing in the car as well.

Just by looking at that list, I should seriously put together a CD to put in the car for long rides, plus lots of water and throat drops so I'm not hoarse before I get to my destination.

What are songs that YOU like to sing in the car at the top of your lungs?