So I have learned that I officially SUCK at being a blogger. That, and Facebook seems to be the biggest time suck around....and where all creative differences, pictures of food, and videos of cats playing for hours on end become the staple of what society decides is everything you need to know. I have decided that I spend more time on Facebook than I do with pretty much anything relevant in my life....and that is sad. I'm not saying Facebook is a bad thing, it's just a TOO MUCH thing. I used to use THIS page as a venting board, now I get to post it where my hundreds of friends can see the first tomato I pulled from my garden, a video of ripping down walls with a sea of termite debris, my latest culinary creation or fail, stories of my commuting on the train to work on a daily basis... You lose touch with things, with your surroundings, with what's important. Where everything is social media based and ideas get twisted, and no one checks the facts anymore, and you can have fans one minute, then death threats the next because you didn't feed the homeless guy the street, where people show their true colors while hiding behind what they think is their own little perfect corner of cyberspace.
It's scary. It's downright terrifying how we've become obsessed with posting the perfect "selfie", looking like we're having the best time, that everything is honkey dorey, and we want to show the world that we've got our shit together. Guess what, that is 75% NOT the case (don't quote me on that, I'm just pulling this number out of the air). People are losing their jobs, their houses, their lives, their children, their sanity, their individuality, their safety....and we post it up on Facebook for the world to see how we're not about to lose it and go apeshit and that everything will get better.
Not trying to be the Debbie Downer, a lot has gone on in the world and in my life since I've last written. Not everything is rainbows and unicorns farting sprinkles and LIVE LAUGH LOVE and happy happy joy joy. Things happen. People happen. Situations happen. Things change. I've changed. And I'm hoping to use this page to find that person I used to be because I've lost her. I lost her a long time ago, but I've just realized that I miss her dearly and I need to bring her back or else I will not survive in this life anymore. So that means that some of my new posts may not be comfortable to read because I'M not comfortable to read anymore. No, I'm not suicidal, unless you call downing a quart of Chocolate Peanut Butter Ice Cream from Baskin Robbins death by chocolate...again...I need to find my voice and I was able to maintain that when I used to write stuff out and sort it out and find out who I used to be. I will still swear like a motherfucker, that will not change, and I don't claim to be a lady even though I technically have the parts, so sorry, this is not your Mother's blog. I'm beyond the prim and proper shit, so get used to me sounding like an 80 year old man screaming at the kids to "Get off my lawn...."
If you're reading this, thank you, and if you're not, I hope you're doing something at least constructive or spending time with someone amazing who makes you feel amazing because everyone deserves that. And with that, I've spend WAY too much time on this from work and would rather not get fired. So with that I bid you adieu until I can find this page again to post up what's ticking inside for what's a day in the life of....me.