Wednesday, July 30, 2008


As a 1930s wife, I am
Very Poor (Failure)

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I am so not a 1930's wife, then again, I don't think I know anyone that would be...

Saturday, July 19, 2008

If you haven't hear or seen the internet sensation from the Whedon brothers (makers of Buffy and Serenity), then you're in for a treat with Dr. Horrible!!! I read about this in the Chicago RedEye and HAD to check it out last night. I was laughing my butt off!!!

Here's some info:
During the WGA strike Joss Whedon started writing a three part musical series for the internet. Each of the three episodes will be approximately ten minutes each.
Co-writers for the internet feature are Joss’ brothers Zack and Jed and Jed’s FiancĂ© Maurissa Tancharoen . The writing and shooting have been completed and the series is now in post-production.
“It’s the story of a low-rent super-villain, the hero who keeps beating him up, and the cute girl from the laundromat he’s too shy to talk to.” says Whedon.
“Doctor Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog” will star Neil Patrick Harris as Dr. Horrible, Nathan Fillion as Captain Hammer, Felicia Day as Penny and a cast of dozens.”

So check this out ASAP. Superheroes? Villans? Singing blog? It's great! This won't be around long, and I was laughing my butt'll see why if you check this out...

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I was looking around at Redneck humor, and came across this fine example of our nations "special" people!


You are a Redneck if: You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.
You can entertain yourself for more than an hour with a flyswatter.
Your property has been mistaken for a recycling center.
Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.
You burn your yard rather than mow it.
You think the Nutcracker is something you did off the high dive.
The Salvation Army declines your mattress.
Your entire family sat around waiting for a call from the governor to spare a loved one.
You offer to give someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.
You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.
You come back from the dump with more than you took.
The trunk of your car is tied down and you're not hauling anything.
You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.
Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.
Your grandmother has "Ammo" on her Christmas list.
You've been kicked out of the zoo for heckling the monkeys.
You think a subdivision is part of a math problem.
You've bathed with flea and tick soap.
You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.
Your kids take a siphon hose to show and tell.
You think a hot tub is a stolen indoor plumbing fixture.
You took a fishing pole to Sea World.
You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.
You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.
You have a rag for a gas cap.
You've hit on somebody in a VD clinic.
Your father executes the "Pull my finger" trick during Christmas dinner.
You had romantic thoughts when you heard sheep bleat.
Your house doesn't have curtains but your truck does.
You wonder how service stations keep their restrooms so clean.
You can spit without opening your mouth.
You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.
You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.
You sit on your roof at Christmas time hoping to fill your deer quota.
And finally.... your richest relative buys a new house and calls you up to help him take the wheels off.

Hope you feel a little smarter after that...but hope it didn't give you some ideas for future use.

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

Lushy drunk and text messages...

Oh how I miss being on vacation with the group Loverboy and I were with last week, they are just a BUNDLE of laughs!!! One thing that sticks in my mind, and makes me giggle uncontrollably, was the way we'd talk in "text" code when the kids were around (not mine, I am without, but everyone else brought their whelps on vacation too). If it's one thing that chaps my hyde, it's how people feel the need to text rather than actually calling someone on the phone!!! Some were the standard WTF, and OMG...we'd literally spell it out, like Oh...Emm...Gee, when the kids were around, just to be retarded since most of them had brought their phones and were texting their friends while sitting around the campfire, or around a table full of jello shots like we lushes. Here are some of the NEW and IMPROVED text abbrevs that we came up with while heavily liquored up...

GBG...Go Blow Goats (I have no idea where that one came from, but it was the most popular one of the week)

FK...Fudge Knuckle (another one I'm oblivious about)

GAMF...Gay Ass Mother F@cker (yeah, at least we were saying the letters more than the phrases)

KMA...Kiss My Ass (not original, but it was funny saying it around the kids)

GFAG...Go F@ck a Goat (I dunno what was up with goats that week)

IDK...I Don't Know

BOB...was used as Bring Own Beer (rather than BYOB...we were too lazy to use the extra Y), Battery Operated Boyfriend, or Back Off B! matter how it was used, no one knew which one you were talking about...

There were others, but I was too sauced to remember the rest. Next year we're bringing up a recorder and taping our twisted conversations so we'll actually know what we were talking about...some of the 2am conversations were classic.

Speaking of lushes, we were at a lake called Eagle Lake in Michigan and they're known for something called the Gwangee monster. Don't ask me, but they had t-shirts with an image of the monster and that saying. Sometime during the week, someone talked about making up a t-shirt, but with a different theme than a lake monster. And so the "Eagle Lake Liquor Pig's" were born. Once we get a design, I'll be sure to post a pic, but that's what we ended up calling each other all week, the Liquor Pigs. We'll also have that person's nickname on the front of the shirt once we get a design...for example, I'm Queen Pyro due to my obsession with fire, Gina is the Jello Goddess, Steve is GBG (hence he's the one that started that "text" that took over for the week), Loverboy is The Brain (since he knows how to fix everything)...etc. Not that we didn't live up to our names, jello shots (multiple) almost every night by our friend Gina, bottles of Hurricaine mix(yummy!!!) and Grand Marnier (I have Loverboy trained), Rum, Vodka and orange juice, you name it!!! Man, I need 2 weeks up there next time!!!

So remember those text abbreviations next time you feel the urge to text someone, maybe it'll start a new trend?

Back to the grind...

So last week I was off...yup, first vacation in 2 years!!! Man, how I miss not doing ANYTHING productive. Loverboy and I had gone up to Eagle Lake in Michigan, about 3 hours away, with some friends. All we did all week was jet-ski, boat, tube, fish, relax...and eat! OMG, I came home and realized that a week of eating breakfast, lunch, dinner, smores around the campfire, and anything someone put something in front of the table, I had gained 7 pounds. 7 pounds in one week of hot dogs, brats and burgers!!! Wow, no wonder the bridesmaid dress I tried on was a little hard to close in the back!!! But that gives me 3 weeks to loose that, and then some (not that I plan on loosing more than 7 pounds, it would be nice, but as long as I can get rid of the stuff I gained last week, I'll be thrilled!!!) Even since Saturday when we came home, I've lost 2 pounds...that's 2 pounds in 3 days of not eating constant crap!!! That means no more Mountain Dew, more water, more working out on the XL Glider (I was on that for an hour last night, and I feel sore but wonderful today), and taking the dogs out for pre-surgery walks to actually get a little more fit prior to being stuck on my keister for about 6 weeks.

Speaking of health, found out that Loverboy's Aunt was having chest pains and shortness of breath about a week ago, while we were in Michigan. Turns out she had some blockage and they ended up performing quadruple bypass surgery last night. She's doing great, and we're going to go see her tonight. Loverboy and I were talking and I was asking about his family medical history. He also had an Uncle who's had 4 open heart surgeries, and he doesn't drink, doesn't smoke, eats right, exercises everyday, and still has health issues!!! His Dad? Doesn't go to the hospital. So now this has us both spooked, and that we both need to start eating better and laying off, if not completely getting rid of, the mountains of Mountain Dew we drink a week. I told him to go for a physical, he's in his 30's now and should at least see if there's anything we need to be aware of at the moment (like we need anything else to worry about). I already know if I go to the docs they're going to say I'm overweight (no shit Sherlock), I've got high blood pressure (do you SEE what my life is like?), high cholesterol (which I'm going to try to change that real quick, but then again ALSO found out it runs in my Dad's side of the family), and my stress level is extremely high (again, no shit). Actually, I'll get to find out all that info within the next couple of weeks, I've got to get a physical before the surgery...

Which brings me to the surgery. Apparently August 20th was a bad date for the doc, he was going to be out of town. Then either schedule it earlier, or later...I chose earlier. So now the surgery is going to be August 13th (lucky 13 baby!!!) and August 8th at 8:30am I'm going to have the schpeal on what is going to take place and when I need to start fasting, etc. Thing is, August 8th is also the date of my friends wedding...but thank goodness we're not meeting till after noon (it's a 7:30pm wedding). You can't get any closer than that!!! So I'm not watching any movies or reading any books till after the surgery, I already know that I'm going to be going crazy, I can't sit still more than a couple hours at a time, and if I'm in front of the computer, I'll be hen pecking all day!

But as always, there's been a lot more stuff going on, and I'm still waiting for the silver lining to show her face. The Friday before we went on vacation, I received a letter that I had received a scholarship for the 2008-2009 nursing program semesters. Yup, it would've all been paid for, except I think for books and uniform (which the uniform and supplies themselves cost over $180, hadn't gotten the books yet). I dropped from my classes last night and decided that I was going to take the next 2 semesters off so I could just work, pay off bills, plan the wedding, and get my health back. I have to resubmit a letter of intent to try to get back in the program for the 2009 fall season (the program only starts in the fall so all the students start together for that year). They don't hold seats, and apparently I knew a lot of others that DIDN'T make the I was extremely lucky to actually make it. Also, got a call yesterday from a girl who was in my Microbiology class during the spring semester. She's a CNA (Certified Nursing Assistant) over at the hospital 15 minutes from my house that I was looking to get a job at while in school during the nursing program. Apparently her boss is hiring, so she called me to see if I was interested. Double ARG!!! I told her what was going on, and that if they were hiring again in the spring, I'd be all set. 6 weeks in a sling and 4 months of physical therapy is basically putting a lot of things on hold for the next 6 months.

So in the last 3 months I've: a)made it into the nursing program, b)found out I needed shoulder surgery, so I needed to drop out of the nursing program, c)I need to reapply for the nursing program for the fall of 2009, d)I lost a job opportunity because I'm going to have surgery in a couple of weeks, e)I need to get a full physical before the surgery on August 13th, f)I'm standing up in a wedding on August 8th, g)I have a wedding to plan (and it may be sooner than later the way that Loverboy keeps picking dates), h)I'm having surgery on August 13th and I'll be immobile for 6 weeks...and I'm ending at h because if I write anymore, I'm going to freak myself out. Notice that I haven't said anything about the garden or the house? That's because that's going to come at a later date. Hopefully the tomatoes won't go bad by the beginning of September, I've already got a lot of Basil and Oregano, and the Hungarian hot wax peppers are going nuts! I've already got my first full grown cucumber (yum!), I've got beans that are flowering, and I've already had enough raspberries to put on top on some cereal! The lettuce is doing well, never thought I could get that going in a hanging container, and the marigolds are going crazy!!! As for the house, Loverboy has the beams for the wall and the ceiling, but isn't starting another project until the Oldsmobile is driveable once again.

So once again, me complaining again. It was so nice last week doing nothing but relaxing...except for the gaining 7 pounds deal. But again, I've got 6 weeks of rest and relaxation, but it won't seem like that because I won't be able to do anything but sit there (I'll be tearing my hair out within a couple of days!!!)

Well, that's my deal for the day. It's almost 9am, and I've got patients coming in, phone calls to make, and a desk full of papers that I need to get organized. Till next time...