Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Gravity and the Great Badunkidunk

My life is never a dull one. I am the Queen of Klutz, I should be given a padded crown as to not poke my eyes out, and a dress made of bubble wrap as to not break or damage anything internally or externally. I've had my fair share of injuries that, of course, would only happen to yours truly. Freakish accidents and incidents that doctors say "Hmmm...I've never seen it this way before" or "If you'd have broken this just a centimeter more this way, you would need to have surgery". This is not a story of aimlessly stubbing a toe of a stair that jumped out of nowhere, or a 100 pound dog who feels the need to run between your legs from behind, causing you to tumble backwards hitting yourself with the frying pan you were just about to put away, and not even finding out you've broken your collarbone due to being a "macho" woman and lifting a roll of rubber membrane on the roof as to seal it and FINALLY stop those leaks in the kitchen (actually, it wasn't so much as being macho, but I was not going to try to hoist the roll from the oak branch as my Bob Villa other half has wanted to). If you know me, when you read this, you'll say "This would only happen to Dawn"...which is usually said due to a lot of my scenarios. This, however, is the story of me and Gravity....

Now Gravity and I have been battling things out for YEARS...from my acrobatics on Lindsey's trampoline into the bushes, to my wonderful seizure type balancing acts while on Rollerblades (which for some reason I can skate at night, but I always fall when I see cars during the day), to my countless times falling out of trees for no reason (the branch appeared to just let go of the tree), to falling off blocks at Oliver's due to not paying attention to my dancing moves, to just walking normally and tripping on absolutely nothing...I can hear Gravity cackle and mock me, only to plan the next time I will be caught off guard so as I can be pummeled and bashed and bruised...it's a love hate relationship, but I always seem to hear the phrase "You were lucky how you landed", or "At least you didn't break anything" or "That break could have been a lot worse, and at least you don't need surgery". I've been an array of rainbow colored bruises throughout the years, enough broken bones to have my own "Operation" game named after me, and after this last stunt, I really want my life back.

Saturday night, I meet my sweetie over at his friends house to help put up drywall in the upstairs since he's got twins on the way in, oh, anytime in the next 2 months!!! I'm upstairs, helping to sweep so the boys could put up the rest of the drywall on the wall over the boards to get the wall closed up, and I find a piece of scrap metal that I'm going to put in the pile that Jon had started. I see the boys in the hall, so I figure I could cut through the closet, which still hadn't had the "walls" put up yet. I take a step through the studs, I hear a snap, next thing you know, I'm sitting on my big ol' badunkidunk, covered in drywall dust, my arms are hurting, and I'm staring at a toilet. Yes, I had just fallen one floor below down into the bathroom.

I hear "Dawn?"

"Yeah..." I weakly reply.

"Holy crap (censored to what was actually said), she just went through the floor!"

Yes, I had just fallen through a piece of drywall that was put on the floor to where the duct work and piping were being replaced. Drywall was put there instead of plywood due to it being worked on, that the ladies of the house wanted some privacy while using the downstairs bathroom, and I was not aware that that was drywall so I though nothing of it when I had taken my first step towards to my to date biggest battle with Gravity. I heard the guys running down the steps to where I was sitting in the dark corner of the bathroom. The force that I had brought down with me had broken some kind of plastic container, to which I profusely apologized for as Jon and Andrea (the owners of the house) apologized themselves for a)using drywall as a floor cover, and b)Jon not telling me not to walk there (mind you, it'd been almost 2 years since I'd been upstairs there helping to work on the upstairs, so I didn't realize that part of the ceiling was still missing).

I looked around me and tried to see what I had fallen into the middle of. In front of me was an 8 foot piece of 6 inch cast iron piping leaning up against the wall in front of me. Behind me was razor sharp duct work that was going to be placed where I had just come through. To my right, about 12 inches away, was the toilet. Not even 12 inches to my right was the bathroom wall, which I could have bounced off of had I fallen weirdly. I had fallen perfectly straight down, I didn't hit anything else except for a plastic container, which the homeowners had said had been previously broken, so I did them a favor to make them finally throw it out.

Matt asked if I needed to be brought to the hospital...I believe that if I go to the ER one more time, they'll give me a coupon for a free bottle of vicodin. I was shaky, my legs felt fine, the way I had fallen was still a mystery as that I didn't hurt myself more. My legs were completely fine, and had bent when I landed on my ginormous cushion of a keister. My left armpit had a bit of a rug burn type rash, my right arm was swollen from the elbow to halfway up the arm, I had some pain in my upper left ribs, and there was some pain on my left thigh, which had also assisted me in my fall. Above my right elbow, it looked like I had shaved off some skin, but the swelling made me nervous for a bit. It was kind of hard and squishy, not like a typical injury that I was used to. I stood up, walked outside, and breathed in the cool evening air. I felt nauseous, and just needed some water to relax a bit. I iced my elbow and my armpit, and awaited the wonderful color display that I would await in the days to come.

Sunday I woke up, sore and stiff. I look in the mirror. My left armpit now had what looked to be dark purple and red streaks climbing from behind the actual pit itself, about 8 inches towards my elbow. It looks like demonic ivy trying to grow down my inner arm. My right elbow has a scab and a bruise that is starting to circle the underside of my elbow, and it's still sensitive to the touch and feels kinda squishy. I've got a small bruise high on my left ribcage, I've got a huge black and blue goose egg on my left thigh, and I've got scratches down my spine from dragging down across the drywall. As of today, Tuesday, the bruising is still increasing, I'll post some pictures later on. The neighbors will think I'm a beaten woman.

I talked to one of the phlebotomists here at work about how much damage one has to do to themselves to be concerned about a blood clot (yes, this topic was brought up from my wonderful better half last night after seeing how the colors were increasing upon my arms...freaking me out to the point where I could barely sleep and seeing if my pulse or breathing was changing or getting more difficult)...I showed her my arms, and she cringed saying go talk to the doctors!!! I went to talk to two of our doctors, showed them the arm bruising and they said "Pretty colors". Ha ha...gotta love their expertise. I told them my story, they looked at my colorful appendages, and said they didn't think I'd have to worry about any kind of blood clotting, especially since I was active and didn't have any restriction or joint pain(and the day after the incident, I not only mowed our big yard, but I also used the weed whacker...I don't have time to slow down).

So that is my most recent, and possibly most deadly, run in with Gravity. Oh, never a dull moment with me around, you'll always be on your toes. I pray to have some recoup time before Gravity and I meet up again, I don't think I could stomach anything else seeing how as I ALSO need a physical assessment for the nursing program sometime in the next couple of weeks...and I want to make sure my vibrant colors have dissipated as to not having anyone thing I am being abused (though Gravity does SUCH a good job on it's own).

I'll post recent pics of the increasing colors tonight when I get home. I'm at work, so I might as well start earning my paycheck!

Friday, May 23, 2008

Songs you have to sing in the car...

Well, you don't HAVE to, but if you have any human inkling in your body, you'll at least tap your foot (you're nondriving foot) while shifting around the radio dial...

I Like Big Butts- Sir Mixalot "I like big butts and I cannot lie..." you know you're going to be singing this for the rest of the day now.

Ice Ice Baby- Vanilla Ice...the white version of M.C.Hammer, my youth brings back entertaining images of doing his dancing from this video. Sad I tell ya.

Bitch-Meredith Brooks. Need I say more? You gotta love the looks when you're belting this one out next to a Studebaker with a family of 8.

Barbie Girl- Aqua This one was on the other day, how I miss doing the Barbie Dance on a box at Olivers...sigh...shout out to the best dang club around, and the club where Lindsey's hubby was originally seen! Barbie Girl and knee hi go-go boots...what could make the night any better?

Which brings me to Tubthumpin-Chumbawumba I try to do the drinky dance while in the car with this one. Doesn't work as well as it did while at a club or Lind's wedding.

U and Ur Hand-Pink Maybe this one is just me, but somehow it makes me feel better when I scream "I'm not here for you ready to tame me..." makes me feel more myself than the Martha Stewart homebody that I've become. I miss my inner wild child.

I'm Just a Girl- No Doubt This was pre-Gwen getting all "Wind it Up", "Holla Girl", and yodeling, prior to her having her own clothing and purse line, and when No Doubt was the hottest thing in alternative music. I relish for Gwen to reunite with the band, which I hear is soon.

Sweet Caroline- Neil Diamond How can you NOT sing Neil while on the road with the windows down? "Sweet Caroline...a bum bum bum...good times never felt so good...SO GOOD, SO GOOD, SO GOOD!!!" Ah, a classic. Also one of those songs everyone sings along with while out doing karaoke...other thing I've lost through my domestication...I don't go sing anymore.

Wannabe (If You Wanna Be My Lover)- Spice Girls British pop in the form of women looking like prostitutes, the birth of Girl Power. They still play this on my 80's and today radio station, I bounce in my seat everytime it's on.

Take On Me- A-Ha LOVED this video, the only song that I know these guys actually had. I don't know how that guy can get his voice so high, must not have any kahoneys.

Ironic- Alanis Morrisette Isn't it ironic, don'tcha think? "It's like raaaaa-eee--aaaiiiin...."

Volcano Girls- Veruca Salt Thank you Linds for doing this with me in karaoke...I still do the squeal in my car, I've gotten quite good at it.

I Saw The Sign- Ace of Base

Believe- Cher Powerful song, always hurts my throat cause I sing so loud, maybe I should turn down the volume so I'm not trying to outdo the radio?

King of Wishful Thinking- Go West Ah, my high school days are coming back to me now...

This Kiss- Faith Hill Sweet song from a gorgeous voice, until I chime in.

Foolish Games- Jewel Another avid karaoke song that is requested whenever I go out with friends.

Now this isn't just one song, this is ANYTHING by Sarah McLachlan...love her voice, and love all her songs.

I'm Too Sexy- Right Said Fred Show me someone who does sing along this song when it's playing, and I'll show you someone getting b-slapped for lying.

Mambo No. 5- Lou Bega The guy's a man-whore talking about his lady friends...but the song's got a saucy beat.

Aerosmith...another band where I'll sing anything they have on the radio, especially "Ragdoll", "Pink", and "Angel". Unfortunately, I rarely hear them on the radio anymore.

Barenaked Ladies...yet another band I will listen to just about any of their songs, whether I understand the words or not...I'll just make them up, like my friend Bobo who though that the song "Natural Woman" where he thought the words were "You make me feel like a man, I'm a woman..." instead of the actual words of "You make me feel like a natural woman...". Gotta love that kid.

I'm Only Happy When it Rains- Garbage Hey, I dig the darker stuff sometimes.

Two Princes- Spin Doctors

Dirrty- Christina Aguilera One of the songs that makes me feel like a bad girl, even when it's just driving to the grocery store.

La Vida Loca- Ricky Martin I'd do the sexy shoulder shake, but I'd knock myself out driving from the "twins"...there not used to that much movement.

Bring me to Life- Evanescence Gotta love the voice on that gal.

Hazel Eyes- Kelly Clarkson Powerful voice from the first American Idol...look how that shows gone to pot since then...at least we got Daughtry too.

Switch AND Men In Black- Will Smith Gotta do it Big Willie Style...fun lyrics that get ya bouncing in the car as well.

Just by looking at that list, I should seriously put together a CD to put in the car for long rides, plus lots of water and throat drops so I'm not hoarse before I get to my destination.

What are songs that YOU like to sing in the car at the top of your lungs?

Things that make me go hmmm...

I ponder...I ponder a lot. My brain is constantly on overdrive which why I am a horrible insomniac. I'll be ready for slumber, under the covers and praying to start thinking of the typical sheep jumping over the fence...then I'll start thinking of things like "Where the heck did horseradish get its name?" or "What can I do to consolidate my bills without having to go to a consolidator and sign away my first born child?" or "Why do bees lose their stingers after stinging you once, but wasps can pummel you endlessly?" or better yet, "What is so great about sushi? I don't know anyone who eats raw beef or chicken, but fish?" That's just plain sick!

These are a few of the reasons I have constant dark circles under my eyes...that and maybe because I have a cat who feels the need to stick his butt in my face at 3am because he's out of water, yet the dog water bowl is 2 feet away from HIS bowl and he can't muster up the audacity to drink out of their tainted vessel...then again Diesel does lick his unmentionables, I wouldn't want to drink out of there either...

Here are a few recent things that have continuously popped into my noggin prior to slumber time:

1. Why doesn't someone shoot Paris Hilton yet?

2. Why do all of our neighbors talk to Matt, but yet I've only talked to 2 of our neighbors? I've been here for 4 years now, I see them out and about and say hey, but then Mr. whatshisface on the corner has to come running over the other night because his wife made Matt (not us, but Matt) a pie...cheesecake with cherries, I get no second glance. I come out to say hello to Mr. whatshisface, he gives me one look, says hi, then continues his ramblings about pistons, and carburators, and what not "car talk" with the man. Forgive me for not knowing about cars and having a penis, I will enjoy this tasty treat inside while you two discuss your macho ways.

3. Why do people take medications when they don't know what they're taking them for? I've had multiple patients I talk to say that they're taking so and so medication, but they don't know whether or not it's for high blood pressure, or the fungus growing between their toes (which they then feel the need to go into vast detail about).

4. How am I'm going to lose 15 pounds to fit into a bridesmaid dress that I already have and is just a LITTLE tight around the armpits...if the "twins" can't squeeze in enough, I may have to use a roll of duct tape...a million and one uses I tell ya.

5. What is going to happen when the recession starts during the summer? Bills are already a pain in the keister, school will be coming up, and though that's been put on a credit card (thank you plastic from the gods), what about the "extras" needed, such as books, uniform, lab, shoes, etc. (and as for the recession, I heard that info from a lady who's friend works for the Board of Trade here in downtown Chicago, so I'm stocking up on whatever I can...I think I can pull off frozen pizza's for the next 2 months no problem).

6. Why do Canadians say aboot instead of about? They speak english, what's the deal with the pronunciations?

7. Where am I going to go for farmers markets this year? There's so many, but they're scattered throughout the week, usually when I'm at work. How much sick time do I have left?

8. School starts in August. Classes are Mon, Tues and Wed morning which MEANS no more commuting 3 hours a day for work. I need to find a job closer to home that not only pays a decent amount, but will not having me want to rip my hair out in the process. So not only finding a job, but finding one close to home and hopefully making enough where I'm not killing myself for minimum wage.

9. I'm waiting insanely for a box of smelly goodness from my good friend Sarah (No title necessary) of butters and lotions and stuff. I can't wait to get it in the mail, and if it's already been sent, did someone steal it off my porch (happened previously with some massage therapy disks for a friend of mine).

10. Why are all the good tasting foods REALLY bad for you, and why do people make foods with stuff you can't pronounce in it! Hey, if chocolate had the same nutritional value as, say, carrots, you could call me Bugs Bunny!

11. What can I do to get the man to eat more veggies? I'm seriously contemplating getting Seinfeld's wife's book about getting your kids to eat their vegetables...it could work.

12. What can I do to get the boy to quit smoking? I've made it clear he is NOT to smoke before going to bed in the bedroom. I may have to get violent or bribe with some "withholdings"...

13. Why do I buy vegetables and fruit that I KNOW I want to eat, but then again I watch as they start to get mushy and unrecognizable before I throw them into the compost pile.

14. Should I get the rain barrel from ebay, or get it from a local guy down in Joliet? Plus side is I don't have to wait with the Joliet guy, plus any barrel I buy after the first one is $5 off the previous price. I want 2 at least, one for the front of the yard, one by the back garden where I can hook a drip hose up to it when the weather is dry.

15. Speaking of garden, when is this frackin weather going to stay above 50 so I can actually start planting stuff outside in the garden! It's almost June, for smurfs sake (and yes, I did say smurf. I'm trying to swear less like a sailor).

16. We've just inherited Matt's Mom's cat, Max. Super furry fire tipped siamese, head butts like nobody's business. Will the dogs stop trying to nip at him?

17. Will I finally be able to see my computer desk once I clean off all the crap that's been accumulating since January?

18. A person on etsy ordered some earrings I can't find...are they in my drawer unit, or were they stuck with the rest of the beads over in the bins stashed over at Matt's Dad's garage? That's what I get to do this weekend.

19. What's going on this weekend...graduation party in Carpentersville, stop off with recyclables, possible driving to Joliet to pick up a rain barrel, baby shower shopping, and going to Matt's friend Jon to help finish the upstairs for the twins he's got on the way (I'm so happy for them)!

20. Next weekend is b-day for Matt's Gram, gift idea is needed, and any other gatherings my brain cannot fathom at the moment.

21. I've got 2 1/2 more weeks of therapy for my weak shoulder. The grinding is still there, but I do have more strength. Will I still need surgery, and if so is that going to interfere with classes in August?

22. If I need surgery, will that interfere with our vacation during the 4th of July?

23. Once I find a new job closer to home, will I give my 2 weeks right away, or wait till after the July vacation, or have the 2nd week prior to going on vacation as my last week, then taking the week after vacation off just as a relaxing buffer prior to the new job? (I've got over 2 weeks vacation time right now, even more by the time I leave, which will be a hefty check coming back if I don't use it).

24. I just found out my little brother proposed to his girlfriend while they were on a cruise last week. He's thinking next May or September...I told him I'd fight him for May, since that's when I was thinking about doing ours....which reminds me...

25. Started talking to Matt last night about a date...he has no idea, as long as its something he can remember...and THIS is what I get to work with for the wedding... Once I get an idea about date, I'm going to talk to the future mother in law of the bride of the wedding I'm standing up for in August...she's a travel agent (whoo-hoo). Hopefully I can get her some business by sending anyone interested her way.

26. It's almost 11am and I've been slacking off SO much today...what is my major malfunction?

27. I'm starving, what's for lunch?

28. Am I not going to care and try to jet out early from work? You betcha!!! Finally, one thing I can actually answer.

So that's just what's spewing off the brain at the moment, hence the insomnia and the constant frantic "running like a chicken" scenario. Hopefully this list will lessen by the end of the holiday weekend, I already told Matt that we need to pick a date by the end of next week so I can start planning with Jan (the brides future mother in law) about packages and options, AND I can start to look for a place to do the reception when we come home. Which means if I'm making my own invitations, those will need to be done asap...which brings up more brain fuzziness, which I won't worry about at the moment.

It's kinda blah outside right now, so I'm feeling kinda blah. I might as well to do something to earn my paycheck...

Sunday, May 18, 2008

OMG, I just went to the Goodwill over in Orland Park, IL and spent $48 on 12 shirts, a pair of mens dark blue cordoroy pants (for me), a bud vase, a small glass vase, 2 green glass bowls, an 8 pack of those wicker plate holders (we used those all the time when we were kids, and getting the cheaper paper plates and using those holders is a LOT cheaper than buying the chinet heavy duty plates all the time), a cute wire basket with heart handles, a round asian looking basket that I can put stuff in...seriously, why am I spending money on new stuff when I could be buying new to me stuff? Geez, people are like that with cars, why aren't more people like that with discount shops and thrift store? I know some people are, but I'm kicking myself in the keister on why last weekend I went out with a friend shopping and I got 2 shirts and some earrings for $75...$75!!! I wanna smack myself! But then again, everytime I've gone to a thrift store, I've found crap. THIS time I went to the Goodwill over in Orland Park...ritzy-ier area...they had some really nice stuff, and anything with a green tag was 50% off!!!

Did you know Goodwill has a store card now? Club Goodwill...5% off any purchase of $20 or more every day, you get a 25% off birthday coupon, 10% off for students on Saturdays (I'll have to update my student ID card), discount coupons by mail, AND advanced notification of sales and promotions!!! I still couldn't believe it!!! Then again it was a madhouse, and all I did was go there to pick up some big t-shirts in the guys department to wear when I was working outside or hanging out around the house, and I found some nice stuff I could wear to work! I should have just thrown that money away from last weekend...but then again the 2 shirts I got were nice, and those were definately work shirts...sigh.

But looks like I'll be looking for a new job in the next month or so...I won't be able to work downtown with a schedule that consists of 3 days of classes in the morning till noon...and that's not counting a 6 hour clinical. So yeah, an afternoon job/night job where I'm closer to home and looks like I may be working weekends unless I can find something during the week that I can do fulltime.

So the man ended up finding a cap for his truck from an ebay auction for $400, they're regularly $1200 new!!! So turns out it was over in Ohio, not too far from his Mom, so he drove out last night to pick up the cap today and help his Mom out with some stuff that she needs to have moved or taken apart...she's moving next weekend so the fact that he was going out there this weekend anyways was perfect! Plus we're going to be watching one of her 2 cats, but Max is great with Goofy...I even offered that we'd take Max when she said she was looking to find a place for them to stay until she found a place closer to the place she got a job transfer to. Sweet cheeks'll be coming back tomorrow night with Max and the new cap on his truck.

Man, I'm exhausted! I can't believe all the stuff I got done this weekend! Matt finally showed me how to use the riding mower, and aside from getting it stuck on the side of one of the trees and getting it stuck in the back compost area, it wasn't too shabby! I also filled in the hole in the front by the driveway where the truck put a hole when it went into the grass when spring started and the yard was still really wet and moveable, I filled in patches in the yard with a seed patch filler (plus it's made with recycled paper, so that was a plus in my book), cut down some of the branches that got in my way when mowing from the willow tree, yanked down dead branches from the willow, planted the rest of the wave petunias, got some tomato, cucumber, banana pepper, and basil plants from Ron's Market to plant once I have the time, I went to a cool farmers market in St. John Indiana where I got local honeycomb, and wildflower honey and some really cool smelling wax melts (french vanilla, chili vanilla, and a sweet orange with chili pepper), picked up some miracle grow dirt for the planters and the garden, and some topsoil for the patches and holes in the yard, picked up some seeds to plant this week so I can put them in the garden by the end of the month (Bush Blue lake beans, oregano, lemon basil, lettuce, and burpees stringless green beans)...what else...I dragged a bunch of the brush from the back to a pile in the front for the city collection...burned a bunch of wood from the house, and picked up a lot of the drywall that was thrown in the dog yard last fall that's falling apart and crumbling due to being outside all winter...I can only fill a garbage can 1/4 full with the drywall since it's so heavy from holding water...what else...went to Goodwill where I was thrilled at my finds, while in the area called my friend Ang because I still had a silver deviled egg tray in my truck from her bridal shower a little over a week ago, and she gave me back the eyepillows that she had at the spa she was working at...apparently they went out of business and Friday was the last day...and she found out on Friday that that was going to be the last day...fun fun I tell ya.

But it's 11:18 and I seriously need to take a shower before I hit the hay and get up at 5am for work...maybe Matt should leave more often, I don't remember a time when I've gotten so much stuff done in one weekend!!! Hope you all had a great weekend, and talk more soon!!!

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Random blubberings...

So a lot has been going on these days, and I'm stoked that I finally finished my final last night!!! Microbiology...goodness me. I swear, half the stuff I learned was stuff I'd already seen on the Discovery channel!!! LOVE the Discovery channel, avid watcher, always have, always will. If I could watch that one channel 24-7, would I even need to go to school?

So school is done for the semester, I find out grades next week hopefully. Found out after the lab exam I was getting a B...SWEET!!! If I can hold that, peachy, if not, as long as I hold a C and don't have to retake the class, let it be so number 1(in the infamous words of Jean Luc Picard from Star Trek).

Next topic that gets me giddy...I made the nursing program!!! Oi-oi!!! You have no idea how much I've been freaking out about this! There were I think over 400 students that applied, and they only take something like 100...and I made it. I get to start the nursing program in the fall, and based off classes they offer in the fall, I will no longer be able to work downtown at my current job....which isn't so much a bad thing. Currently I work as a Clinical Research Coordinator...fancy talk for "I try to make sure people that participate in clinical trials are actually following instructions so we can collect data that will make an intelligent outcome of what the study is supposed to be submitting". If they have side effects from using a new drug or procedure, I collect the information. The stories I could tell!!! For example...those commercials about Cheerios and Quaker Oatmeal lowering cholesterol? We've done studies like that (I know we've done the oatmeal one because I helped work on it). Grape juice, though was previous marketed as full of antioxidants, ALSO was found to help with male erectile dysfunction (ladies, time to go shopping!). The birth control patch, though previously thought to be a wonderful alternative to taking the morning pill, turns out after time it increased blot clots in women, and was more dangerous than previously thought (look it up online, there's lawsuits galore). Let's see...Pomegranate juice is full of antioxidants, but the effects were only captured up to a 6 month time period, then the effects seemed to dwindle off. So if you're doing the pomegranate juice deal, be sporadic, or be on it for a bit, then take yourself off. What else...man, there's a lot to talk about...South Beach Diet is a good weight loss regimen, you just need to follow it to a T and incorporate exercise, as long as you check with your licensed physician first. We don't want anyone passing out from eating healthy and working out too much. I tell ya, the stuff I'm learning is classic!!!

Lets see...things that have made me smile in the past week besides finishing finals and finding out I was accepted into the nursing program: I saw a rainbow...it arched over my house...or at least it looked like it did while I was driving home from the train station. You know how everyone says they have a twin? Well, for me, everyone seems to know someone who looks like me, so it's no biggie. However, I saw a girl that looked like my twin in the drive thru at Baskin Robbins!!! I was getting a celebratory 2 scoop hot fudge peanut butter chocolate sundae with the works, when I swear that the face I saw in the side mirror in front of me looked like I was looking in the mirror. Seriously! Same blank stare, same facial structure, I almost jumped out of my car just to go up and see her straight on! Her image in the mirror was seriously uncanny at how even I thought she looked like me!!! Let's see, what else. I saw a Range Rover with a license plate that said "Big Legs". I literally laughed so hard, I almost hit the curb while driving this morning. Why? It was 5:30am and I was still not quite up yet (I know, and driving no doubt to get to work...the things I do for a paycheck).

Speaking of paycheck, found out I got a raise even though I transferred to my position in December...it was prorated, but hey, who's complaining? 7 years at the same company...3 weeks vacation a year!!! Too bad I'll be leaving in the next couple of months, but then again I think of the 15 hours I'll be saving from commuting downtown...man, that's a part time job just in travel! Thank goodness for public transportation, but no thanks to bad hygiene on the train...that's just nasty! What else, I'm learning new exercise through physical therapy to help strengthen my shoulder (please no surgery, if I get surgery, I'm screwed for the nursing program). I received Wave Petunias in the mail...free from a website on gardening that I signed up for last week! http://www.wave-rave.com/signupfanclub.aspx I got a BOX of these petunias, in Cherry Wave, Silver, and Hot Pink! If you look on the bottom of the page to this link, you'll see three flowers. Those are the colors: http://www.wave-rave.com/plant_info.aspx?phid=048601894004341 There's about 6 plants for each color, and these are the petunias that are the rave right now! They're the ones that are supposed to spread like ground cover, or drape out of hanging baskets...like the ones that the nursery's sell for $60+ a basket! I can't wait to get some dirt so I can plant them!!!

So tomorrow is Friday, and I'm even happier about that! I'm thinking about going out and hitting some of the early Farmer's Markets to not only find some goodies, but I'm going to be looking for some herbs to start up my herb garden on the back deck...oregano and basil are a must again this year, and I'm thinking about trying lavendar again, and maybe some chamomille for homemade tea...eh, we'll see. All I know is I need to get the garden completely cleaned out this weekend and prepped for plants in the next week or so...we actually had frost this morning, so I'll need to keep an eye on the weather and make sure I've got a tarp that can cover the garden if needed. Plus the raspberry plants have a mind of their own and are taking over the everbearing strawberry plants from last year...which are coming back thanks to putting dog hair around the plants so not only does it keep the rabbits and squirrels away, but the deer too!!!

But that's all I've got for now, I'm off to make the man some grub...only thing that's peeved me off today is when I ask him what he wants to eat, he says food. So I decide to make a stir fry, an he doesn't tell me previously that he's not too fond of the stir fry...then don't tell me you want "food", tell me you want something specific or I am no longer inclined to make sure you've been fed. If he had his way, he'd eat burgers everynight...oh well, I'm again thawing him a burger, and the stir fry will have to be for my lunch and dinner for the next how many days...unless I make some rice pudding and steam the veggies...and use the chicken for salads...at least I haven't thrown everything together yet, so I've still got MacGuyver type options I can work with...

Thursday, May 8, 2008

Underware dust

One evening a husband, thinking he was being funny, said to his wife'Perhaps we should start washing your clothes in Slim Fast. Maybe it would take a few inches off of your butt!'

His wife was not amused, and decided that she simply couldn't let such acomment go unrewarded.The next morning the husband took a pair of underwear out of his drawer.'What the Hell is this??' he said to himself as a little 'dust' cloudappeared when he shook them out.

'April,' he hollered into the bathroom, 'why did you put talcum powderin my underwear?'

She replied .'It's not talcum powder......It's "Miracle Grow".

The things my friends send me. This one seriously made me laugh out loud in my cubicle. Seriously, I think I would've done a little more than just put Miracle Grow in his man panties...or is that manties? That looks too much like manatee, which what I'm feeling like right now after downing a bag of cheetos...ugh, I feel nasty. I think you should be able to ban certain foods from being made, such as anything that causes anal leakage!!! What is up with that?!?!?

Okay, off topic, I'm feeling a little ADD right now. I just tried one of those "5-hour energy" drinks, the ones that come in the 2oz little bottle that they have at Walgreens. After I first drank it, I felt good! I had a little flushing (warmth in the cheeks and some redness), but that's just from the Niacin in the drink. I did get a little wired then and actually started to work! Now it's 2 hours later, I can't concentrate, I'm writing down something mental which I will totally forget about as soon as I close this webpage, and trying to imagine what it would feel like to crawl down a wall like those wacky wall crawlers that you used to be able to get from a box of Rice Krispies when we were kids, or from the quarter machines that you would bug your Mom until you got that quarter for the most worthless crap (though I do remember getting that red "fortune teller" fish that would curl in your hand depending on your mood, those rocked!). I can no longer focus on what I need to do which is horrible because I have about 20 phone calls I have to make, and I don't want to sound like I'm dyslexic (or dicks-lek-sic as I used to say...after all, I speak Dawnish).

Ah Dawnish, another change in topic. Linds came up with that fabulous description of my constant battle to speak the english language. From "You can smark in my car", to "Did you see Rose's flick sty?", to whatever was going to come out of my mouth next, there were just too many to count. The unknown language that has come to be known from my mouth moving faster than my brain, which mind you happens quite often. You can tell I'm edjumukated by my eloquential verbalizations...I never cease to amaze even myself.

So I'm feeling a little shaky, my heartrate is beating quite a bit right now, if I didn't know I was having a weirdo effect from the 5 hour satan's drink, I'd think I was having a heart attack. Is speed listed on the bottles label? No, but it has phenylalanine:

A non food source of phenylalanine is the artificial sweetener aspartame. (from wikipedia...love that website, they know everything). Supposedly the "safer" sugar, this compound, sold under the trade names "Equal" and "NutraSweet", is metabolized by the body into several chemical byproducts including phenylalanine.

D'oh!!! Should've done my homework. I'm aspartame sensitive, it gives me stomach aches, rapid heart rate, and yes, brain splitting headaches. I do not buy diet foods with any type of immitation sweetners in it for that reason, give the good stuff!!! Though I have been more into different forms of sugar, such as brown sugar or crystal sugar, or other flavorings not including so much sugar as required for recipes unless I'm baking something where I have to follow the recipe to a T. Aspartame is not made from sugar but from two amino acids that are isolated from bacteria. Saccharin is produced from a combination of the flavor chemical methyl anthranilate and ammonia. (http://www.splendaexposed.com/articles/2005/02/ny_times_today.html) Not sure if that's true, but I'll do more research. All I know is that I react with Splenda, Aspartame, and anything with Nutrisweet. Down with the sugar wanna-be products!!! Yeah, no diet foods for me, but then is something that's supposedly sugar free really good for you anyways? What are they putting in the products, something that has a sweetness, but is made of chemically altered substances that I could'nt pronounce if I tried to? Forget about it!!!

ARG, this is not fun. Plus it's only been about an hour that these feelings have been going on! It's just after 1pm, and I don't get to leave until 3pm...so just about 2 hours to see how nuts I can get and see if this stuff wears off before I leave. Maybe I'll be able to focus if I can chug a gallon of water and flush my system...otherwise maybe I'll have enough energy to run to the trainstation and try to detox before I get home.

But off to work and whatever I can accomplish for the next 2 hours...