Friday, August 22, 2008

Nightclub . . . Church?

I dunno if it's because my brain is not as functional or stressed as normal, but I found this extremely hilarious...enough to pass it on to others!

See how Platex shows women how to put on a bra...

Monday, August 18, 2008

Back from the dread...

So forgive any random misspellings, I'm typing this one handed. Why? Cause I'm a tard and feel like I'm missing from civilization.

First, the wedding went well. Since I had stopped therapy and using the stretch bands after doc #3 told me I shouldn't have been doing them, I had gained a little weight. Just enough to SQUEEZE into the bridesmaid dress and feel like a stuffed sausage, pictures will come as soon as I get some, but trust me, they won't be pretty. I pray that none of the elder folk had a heart attack with the eyefull they got THAT night!!!

Moving on....

So I'm back after surgery, which was last Wednesday the 13th of August (what is up with me and 13), and turns out I started off with a scratchy throat the morning of surgery which turned into a full blown cold within 2 days afterwards. I'm sure I've been such a joy to Loverboy, and he's been so sweet...even though he has caught the hellion cold that I had. The night of surgery I sent him for original Listerine (the nasty brown medicine tasting stuff since that's the only stuff that helps with a sore throat), orange juice, and chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream...what a sweetheart!!! So now I can't hear anything, taste anything (that chocolate Moose Tracks ice cream is wasting away in the freezer!!!), my head is stuffed, but at least I can breathe today!!! I'm sure the neighbors think I'm deaf or having a fight with Loverboy since the TV volume is up so high...

But back to the surgery. I'm partially typing this one handed, part with my hand in a giant black sling that I hope to be out of within the next week or so (if I can get the docs assistant to actually call me back). I was supposed to have the surgery this week, but since the doc was going to be on vacation, we scheduled it for the week prior. No problem there, except a follow up visit is supposed to be 7-10 days post surgery to get the stitches removed and see how everything is healing up. I may have to postpone some of this message due to therapy coming up at 6pm tonight...yup, this doc is aggressive and I started therapy the day after surgery. The one thing that really bothers me, aside from the fact that I can't do anything including dressing myself decently, is that I can't put my hair back! I try to have Loverboy help, but lets say he never had a doll to practice on, and has no idea how I put my hair in a bun. It's nervewracking, even more than the tightened muscles in the upper outer bicept part of my arm. Oh well, at least it was my left instead of my dominant right arm...thanks for that!!!

Again, back to surgery...I went in at 8:30am expecting to go to surgery by 10:30ish or so. I remember nothing after I was wheeled into the surgery room and was given the anesthesia through the IV (which took them 4 times to find since I was fasting and my veins were hiding, so I told them just to use the vein in my arm that I use to donate blood...there's some nice purple going on all over my arm because of that). Loverboy kept me company as we watched ER on the room TV(I know, appropriate). After surgery, I woke up in tears as I felt like the left side of my body was being ripped off...the nurses were great and gave me lots of pain meds (which I had previously denied the block since I didn't know how much the doc would be giving me). I was out for another hour or so, then woke up back in the room. Loverboy told me that it wasn't 2 torn labrums, the doc had shown him picks that I had ripped the whole top half of my shoulder, hence I wasn't gaining any strength when I was doing therapy with the other docs. When I hurt myself, I go all out, I tell ya! 3 stitches and some cleaning on the inside, 4 holes on the outside with 2-3 stitches per incision area...exquisit job considering what they were working with.

I was in and out for another 2 hours before I asked if we could go home. Slept the entire way home, don't remember coming in the house, then woke up 2 hours later totally dehydrated. I couldn't eat or drink anything at the hospital due to nausea (again, more meds for that). Didn't try to eat anything else until 8pm with the meds: hydrocodone. I took 2, then my system did not approve of then, nor my sandwich, 2 hours later...I was in hell for the next 3 hours until I passed out (after freaking out Loverboy with my digestive pyrotechnics), until 5:30am when I was able to have some Special K with strawberries and 1, just 1, hydrocodone. Helped me pass out again until after noon. I realized later on the next night that hydrocodone does nothing to dull the pain, it just gives you a loopy feeling that makes you want to pass out rather than DEAL with the pain. I came to that conclusion after Loverboy was installing a ceiling fan (the previous one had been destroyed when we had a waterfall coming in the living room one night while in the process of fixing the roof last summer) and I had taken another one since I could not get comfortable again to relax. My head felt fuzzy, nothing had dulled the pain, but I felt detatched from the world. Loverboy said he didn't like them either, he was on them when he had his knee surgery earlier in the year.

So now it's 5 days post surgery, I'm finally getting over the cold, though I still can't hear, but I can do laundry one handed, clean out the dishwasher, and make my own sandwich. I've got therapy in a little less than 2 hours, and at least this time I'll be in decent clothing. Pre-surgery, I was told to bring a huge, stretch t-shirt to wear after surgery since I wouldn't be able to put on a shirt, much less undershirt wear. So that meant that when I went to therapy the next day, I was still in that fashion since I was told NOT to remove the arm sling/brace. The therapist was great, helped me put on a gown for therapy, and helped put the shirt on underneath the sling for going home. She's my new hero! And she helped put my hair in a ponytail!!! Definately my new hero!!!

But that's that, for now. I was able to type this mostly with both hands, but not without my fair share of spelling corrections. That's it for now, I'm glad to be able to read everyone's blogs again, how I missed being in touch with the world. Thank you to everyone who gave warm wishes and prayers to a speedy recovery, you have no idea how much those are helping me in this process. If you know me, you know I'm not the kind who likes to sit around, whether I have to or not. Movies and books are waiting, but I just can't get into it with this wonderful weather outside. Maybe I'll sit on the front porch tomorrow and read in the warm sun...doesn't seem like there will be too many more of those left according to the weather man.

Hugs, and have a wonderful day!

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Countdown till I go nuts...

So today is exactly a week from when I get to go under the knife (so to speak, it's endoscopic, so I'll just have some little holes rather than getting chopped up like something on the table at a BeniHana). Things are crazy as always, and I'm learning that you HAVE to specify situations and scenarios to your insurance company and the doctors office even though you never thought you did before...and try not to schedule everything at the same time cause you'll go insane, which is where I'm headed...

Hence hell #1: Even though I only went to the emergency room once when I had a car accident on 4/19/08, everything after that event NEEDS to be stated that they are not associated with the car accident. Every doc appt, every physical therapy appointment, anything doctor related...has been billed to State Farm assuming that it has relation to the car accident. Why is this being billed this way when I never told the other locations about the car accident? Because Blue Cross of Washington is retarded, and they assummed everything was related and has now billed everything under the sun to the company of the biotch who hit me in APRIL!!! I'm just learning this now, just got off the phone with a lady the other day, and I still don't understand how this can happen. One does not assume that appointments are based on one incident. Sure, it's also the left side of the body, shoulder/collarbone region, but it was never stated that anything other than the trip to the ER on the night of the accident should all be billed together. You know who get's screwed? ME!!! I get to call ALL the places who sent bills to State Farm and send them a written letter stating that my appointment on such and such date, such and such time, was NOT attributed to the car accident from 4/19/08, and that until you submit that document to the appropriate parties, you will not get paid from insurance because they are life sucking assholes and don't know how to bill things correctly. I've got 8 places to call, and I can't even begin to state how much this sucks.

Hellish moment #2: I'm standing up in a wedding for a friend, and Loverboy is the best man. The dress is gorgeous, I'm not. I have to SQUEEZE to get into this dress since my shoulder has progressively been getting worse and I can no longer work out to the status that I was previously when I purchased the dress. Can I get a larger dress? Nope, wedding is Friday evening. I've discussed this with the Maid of Honor (she calls herself the Bitch of Honor) that I will need help with gauze and duct tape...which I believe she was going to use as well since bra's don't seem to go with this dress...and neither do I for the moment, but that'll change. I've got what seems like extra boobs of skin beneath my armpits that are preventing the dress from closing...oh well, a million and one uses, ya know? Oh, and I have to fix the clasp above the zipper because when Loverboy was helping me put it on, he decided to clasp it first before having an all out brawl trying to close it...needless to say when he got tired, the zipper won, and then the clasp flew across the room...I think it hit Goofy cause he took off running into the other room.

Hell #3: I've only got 3 more full days of work after today, and when I say full, it's a 10+ hour day full. The past 2 days I've worked 10+ hours to play catch up since I was on vacation at the beginning of July for a week (ah, I miss that...), and no one felt the need to, oh, work on things needed to be done rather than pawn them off on my desk? Plus, being in research, you have monitors come in to check on things with the studies and make sure everything is going as planned. Well, I've got one monitor here today, and one coming on Tuesday of next week...and I'm swamped as it is!!! Plus tomorrow I can't stay late since I've got the rehearsal dinner for Friday's wedding tomorrow night at 6pm!!!

Hell #4: I've still got to get my short term disability forms filled out so I can get paid when I'm off...otherwise 6 weeks of no pay is 6 months of me eating Ramen noodles to keep up with the bills. I'd use vacation, but I've only got a week and a half worth of vacation, a couple days of sick time, and a personal day. Do I really wanna use all that time and then come back with nothing? I've been here 7 years, they can put me on short term disability with no problem.

Hell #5: I need to start looking for a lawyer to see if I've actually got a case of medical malpractice, since it seems that my shoulder has gotten worse, and it's probably due to the physical therapy and/or the cortisone shots that I wasn't supposed to have, and due to the lack of getting me to surgery before things did get progressively worse.

Hell #6: This is my hell of the day, so far. I have a patient who came in late and I'm only scheduled to see her for an hour and a half until I have another patient coming in. Said patient called telling me her life story of dealing with crabby bus drivers, how she ended up by Navy Pier, and that she'd be a "little" late...yeah lady, I've only got another 1/2 hour scheduled for you since you can't seem to make it on time even when you had to reschedule from the day before because you couldn't seem to get downtown...I should just tell her to go home. I'm going to go grab her from the lobby because some patients KNOW how to come in when they're supposed to. The lady ended up shifting my whole day, and now I'm going to have to stay late again...ARG!!! And DON'T tell me about your sexual disfunctions, that's NOT in the paperwork.

Hell #7: It's already 2:15pm, I haven't had anything to eat due to running around like a Banshee in heat. This is the first time I've been stable for more than 5 minutes without having someone page me on the overhead, or an email that I need to promptly respond to. My belly is scorning me for forgetting the banana that is sitting on the counter...but then again maybe it'll be good enough to fit into that dress on can only hope.

Hell #8: Apparently it wasn't until late last night after I took a shower that the toilet took a shit...literally. The toilet is busted...again...but this time instead of having to jimmy it to work, it will have to be replaced completely. Just what Loverboy wanted to do the day he has to get his Tux fitted...yes, I said Tux. Nice change from just doing suits as previously decided by the groom...

Hell #9: This weather is nasty hot, and if you know Chicago, the weather can be thick enough to swim in. So while we don't have air conditioning in the house, when I have the surgery, I'll have to be propped up so I don't roll over on my shoulder...which means I'll have to sleep in the living room on the couch. This means I'll be subjected to the cats, sounds of hairballs and other upchucking on the carpet, scampering to find the house mice (which I'm ready to go on a rampage since I saw turds on the stove again last night), and the stickyness that has come to be in the house while Loverboy sleeps in the bed where he finally built a bedframe and added a window so he could put in an air conditioner. Yup, I will not have the luxury of comforted slumber.

So there's the latest. At least I was able to thwart another doc bill by telling them that it wasn't submitted to the insurance, so I wait until they clarify that...but at least I don't have to clarify that for them, unlike the insurance company (I'm going to call and talk to a should never have been submitted that way, and it's not my fault so they should have to fix it).

ARG, I need a drink...this wedding just can't get here soon enough!!! Why do things always go to crap all at the same time? I need a stomach is going to start eating itself. I can just hear my stomach saying "Helllloooooo" like from that Seinfeld episode of the girlfriend with the talking stomach.