Friday, May 23, 2008

Things that make me go hmmm...

I ponder...I ponder a lot. My brain is constantly on overdrive which why I am a horrible insomniac. I'll be ready for slumber, under the covers and praying to start thinking of the typical sheep jumping over the fence...then I'll start thinking of things like "Where the heck did horseradish get its name?" or "What can I do to consolidate my bills without having to go to a consolidator and sign away my first born child?" or "Why do bees lose their stingers after stinging you once, but wasps can pummel you endlessly?" or better yet, "What is so great about sushi? I don't know anyone who eats raw beef or chicken, but fish?" That's just plain sick!

These are a few of the reasons I have constant dark circles under my eyes...that and maybe because I have a cat who feels the need to stick his butt in my face at 3am because he's out of water, yet the dog water bowl is 2 feet away from HIS bowl and he can't muster up the audacity to drink out of their tainted vessel...then again Diesel does lick his unmentionables, I wouldn't want to drink out of there either...

Here are a few recent things that have continuously popped into my noggin prior to slumber time:

1. Why doesn't someone shoot Paris Hilton yet?

2. Why do all of our neighbors talk to Matt, but yet I've only talked to 2 of our neighbors? I've been here for 4 years now, I see them out and about and say hey, but then Mr. whatshisface on the corner has to come running over the other night because his wife made Matt (not us, but Matt) a pie...cheesecake with cherries, I get no second glance. I come out to say hello to Mr. whatshisface, he gives me one look, says hi, then continues his ramblings about pistons, and carburators, and what not "car talk" with the man. Forgive me for not knowing about cars and having a penis, I will enjoy this tasty treat inside while you two discuss your macho ways.

3. Why do people take medications when they don't know what they're taking them for? I've had multiple patients I talk to say that they're taking so and so medication, but they don't know whether or not it's for high blood pressure, or the fungus growing between their toes (which they then feel the need to go into vast detail about).

4. How am I'm going to lose 15 pounds to fit into a bridesmaid dress that I already have and is just a LITTLE tight around the armpits...if the "twins" can't squeeze in enough, I may have to use a roll of duct tape...a million and one uses I tell ya.

5. What is going to happen when the recession starts during the summer? Bills are already a pain in the keister, school will be coming up, and though that's been put on a credit card (thank you plastic from the gods), what about the "extras" needed, such as books, uniform, lab, shoes, etc. (and as for the recession, I heard that info from a lady who's friend works for the Board of Trade here in downtown Chicago, so I'm stocking up on whatever I can...I think I can pull off frozen pizza's for the next 2 months no problem).

6. Why do Canadians say aboot instead of about? They speak english, what's the deal with the pronunciations?

7. Where am I going to go for farmers markets this year? There's so many, but they're scattered throughout the week, usually when I'm at work. How much sick time do I have left?

8. School starts in August. Classes are Mon, Tues and Wed morning which MEANS no more commuting 3 hours a day for work. I need to find a job closer to home that not only pays a decent amount, but will not having me want to rip my hair out in the process. So not only finding a job, but finding one close to home and hopefully making enough where I'm not killing myself for minimum wage.

9. I'm waiting insanely for a box of smelly goodness from my good friend Sarah (No title necessary) of butters and lotions and stuff. I can't wait to get it in the mail, and if it's already been sent, did someone steal it off my porch (happened previously with some massage therapy disks for a friend of mine).

10. Why are all the good tasting foods REALLY bad for you, and why do people make foods with stuff you can't pronounce in it! Hey, if chocolate had the same nutritional value as, say, carrots, you could call me Bugs Bunny!

11. What can I do to get the man to eat more veggies? I'm seriously contemplating getting Seinfeld's wife's book about getting your kids to eat their could work.

12. What can I do to get the boy to quit smoking? I've made it clear he is NOT to smoke before going to bed in the bedroom. I may have to get violent or bribe with some "withholdings"...

13. Why do I buy vegetables and fruit that I KNOW I want to eat, but then again I watch as they start to get mushy and unrecognizable before I throw them into the compost pile.

14. Should I get the rain barrel from ebay, or get it from a local guy down in Joliet? Plus side is I don't have to wait with the Joliet guy, plus any barrel I buy after the first one is $5 off the previous price. I want 2 at least, one for the front of the yard, one by the back garden where I can hook a drip hose up to it when the weather is dry.

15. Speaking of garden, when is this frackin weather going to stay above 50 so I can actually start planting stuff outside in the garden! It's almost June, for smurfs sake (and yes, I did say smurf. I'm trying to swear less like a sailor).

16. We've just inherited Matt's Mom's cat, Max. Super furry fire tipped siamese, head butts like nobody's business. Will the dogs stop trying to nip at him?

17. Will I finally be able to see my computer desk once I clean off all the crap that's been accumulating since January?

18. A person on etsy ordered some earrings I can't find...are they in my drawer unit, or were they stuck with the rest of the beads over in the bins stashed over at Matt's Dad's garage? That's what I get to do this weekend.

19. What's going on this weekend...graduation party in Carpentersville, stop off with recyclables, possible driving to Joliet to pick up a rain barrel, baby shower shopping, and going to Matt's friend Jon to help finish the upstairs for the twins he's got on the way (I'm so happy for them)!

20. Next weekend is b-day for Matt's Gram, gift idea is needed, and any other gatherings my brain cannot fathom at the moment.

21. I've got 2 1/2 more weeks of therapy for my weak shoulder. The grinding is still there, but I do have more strength. Will I still need surgery, and if so is that going to interfere with classes in August?

22. If I need surgery, will that interfere with our vacation during the 4th of July?

23. Once I find a new job closer to home, will I give my 2 weeks right away, or wait till after the July vacation, or have the 2nd week prior to going on vacation as my last week, then taking the week after vacation off just as a relaxing buffer prior to the new job? (I've got over 2 weeks vacation time right now, even more by the time I leave, which will be a hefty check coming back if I don't use it).

24. I just found out my little brother proposed to his girlfriend while they were on a cruise last week. He's thinking next May or September...I told him I'd fight him for May, since that's when I was thinking about doing ours....which reminds me...

25. Started talking to Matt last night about a date...he has no idea, as long as its something he can remember...and THIS is what I get to work with for the wedding... Once I get an idea about date, I'm going to talk to the future mother in law of the bride of the wedding I'm standing up for in August...she's a travel agent (whoo-hoo). Hopefully I can get her some business by sending anyone interested her way.

26. It's almost 11am and I've been slacking off SO much today...what is my major malfunction?

27. I'm starving, what's for lunch?

28. Am I not going to care and try to jet out early from work? You betcha!!! Finally, one thing I can actually answer.

So that's just what's spewing off the brain at the moment, hence the insomnia and the constant frantic "running like a chicken" scenario. Hopefully this list will lessen by the end of the holiday weekend, I already told Matt that we need to pick a date by the end of next week so I can start planning with Jan (the brides future mother in law) about packages and options, AND I can start to look for a place to do the reception when we come home. Which means if I'm making my own invitations, those will need to be done asap...which brings up more brain fuzziness, which I won't worry about at the moment.

It's kinda blah outside right now, so I'm feeling kinda blah. I might as well to do something to earn my paycheck...

No comments: