Countdown till I go nuts...

So today is exactly a week from when I get to go under the knife (so to speak, it's endoscopic, so I'll just have some little holes rather than getting chopped up like something on the table at a BeniHana). Things are crazy as always, and I'm learning that you HAVE to specify situations and scenarios to your insurance company and the doctors office even though you never thought you did before...and try not to schedule everything at the same time cause you'll go insane, which is where I'm headed...

Hence hell #1: Even though I only went to the emergency room once when I had a car accident on 4/19/08, everything after that event NEEDS to be stated that they are not associated with the car accident. Every doc appt, every physical therapy appointment, anything doctor related...has been billed to State Farm assuming that it has relation to the car accident. Why is this being billed this way when I never told the other locations about the car accident? Because Blue Cross of Washington is retarded, and they assummed everything was related and has now billed everything under the sun to the company of the biotch who hit me in APRIL!!! I'm just learning this now, just got off the phone with a lady the other day, and I still don't understand how this can happen. One does not assume that appointments are based on one incident. Sure, it's also the left side of the body, shoulder/collarbone region, but it was never stated that anything other than the trip to the ER on the night of the accident should all be billed together. You know who get's screwed? ME!!! I get to call ALL the places who sent bills to State Farm and send them a written letter stating that my appointment on such and such date, such and such time, was NOT attributed to the car accident from 4/19/08, and that until you submit that document to the appropriate parties, you will not get paid from insurance because they are life sucking assholes and don't know how to bill things correctly. I've got 8 places to call, and I can't even begin to state how much this sucks.

Hellish moment #2: I'm standing up in a wedding for a friend, and Loverboy is the best man. The dress is gorgeous, I'm not. I have to SQUEEZE to get into this dress since my shoulder has progressively been getting worse and I can no longer work out to the status that I was previously when I purchased the dress. Can I get a larger dress? Nope, wedding is Friday evening. I've discussed this with the Maid of Honor (she calls herself the Bitch of Honor) that I will need help with gauze and duct tape...which I believe she was going to use as well since bra's don't seem to go with this dress...and neither do I for the moment, but that'll change. I've got what seems like extra boobs of skin beneath my armpits that are preventing the dress from closing...oh well, a million and one uses, ya know? Oh, and I have to fix the clasp above the zipper because when Loverboy was helping me put it on, he decided to clasp it first before having an all out brawl trying to close it...needless to say when he got tired, the zipper won, and then the clasp flew across the room...I think it hit Goofy cause he took off running into the other room.

Hell #3: I've only got 3 more full days of work after today, and when I say full, it's a 10+ hour day full. The past 2 days I've worked 10+ hours to play catch up since I was on vacation at the beginning of July for a week (ah, I miss that...), and no one felt the need to, oh, work on things needed to be done rather than pawn them off on my desk? Plus, being in research, you have monitors come in to check on things with the studies and make sure everything is going as planned. Well, I've got one monitor here today, and one coming on Tuesday of next week...and I'm swamped as it is!!! Plus tomorrow I can't stay late since I've got the rehearsal dinner for Friday's wedding tomorrow night at 6pm!!!

Hell #4: I've still got to get my short term disability forms filled out so I can get paid when I'm off...otherwise 6 weeks of no pay is 6 months of me eating Ramen noodles to keep up with the bills. I'd use vacation, but I've only got a week and a half worth of vacation, a couple days of sick time, and a personal day. Do I really wanna use all that time and then come back with nothing? I've been here 7 years, they can put me on short term disability with no problem.

Hell #5: I need to start looking for a lawyer to see if I've actually got a case of medical malpractice, since it seems that my shoulder has gotten worse, and it's probably due to the physical therapy and/or the cortisone shots that I wasn't supposed to have, and due to the lack of getting me to surgery before things did get progressively worse.

Hell #6: This is my hell of the day, so far. I have a patient who came in late and I'm only scheduled to see her for an hour and a half until I have another patient coming in. Said patient called telling me her life story of dealing with crabby bus drivers, how she ended up by Navy Pier, and that she'd be a "little" late...yeah lady, I've only got another 1/2 hour scheduled for you since you can't seem to make it on time even when you had to reschedule from the day before because you couldn't seem to get downtown...I should just tell her to go home. I'm going to go grab her from the lobby because some patients KNOW how to come in when they're supposed to. The lady ended up shifting my whole day, and now I'm going to have to stay late again...ARG!!! And DON'T tell me about your sexual disfunctions, that's NOT in the paperwork.

Hell #7: It's already 2:15pm, I haven't had anything to eat due to running around like a Banshee in heat. This is the first time I've been stable for more than 5 minutes without having someone page me on the overhead, or an email that I need to promptly respond to. My belly is scorning me for forgetting the banana that is sitting on the counter...but then again maybe it'll be good enough to fit into that dress on Friday...one can only hope.

Hell #8: Apparently it wasn't until late last night after I took a shower that the toilet took a shit...literally. The toilet is busted...again...but this time instead of having to jimmy it to work, it will have to be replaced completely. Just what Loverboy wanted to do the day he has to get his Tux fitted...yes, I said Tux. Nice change from just doing suits as previously decided by the groom...

Hell #9: This weather is nasty hot, and if you know Chicago, the weather can be thick enough to swim in. So while we don't have air conditioning in the house, when I have the surgery, I'll have to be propped up so I don't roll over on my shoulder...which means I'll have to sleep in the living room on the couch. This means I'll be subjected to the cats, sounds of hairballs and other upchucking on the carpet, scampering to find the house mice (which I'm ready to go on a rampage since I saw turds on the stove again last night), and the stickyness that has come to be in the house while Loverboy sleeps in the bed where he finally built a bedframe and added a window so he could put in an air conditioner. Yup, I will not have the luxury of comforted slumber.

So there's the latest. At least I was able to thwart another doc bill by telling them that it wasn't submitted to the insurance, so I wait until they clarify that...but at least I don't have to clarify that for them, unlike the insurance company (I'm going to call and talk to a Manager...it should never have been submitted that way, and it's not my fault so they should have to fix it).

ARG, I need a drink...this wedding just can't get here soon enough!!! Why do things always go to crap all at the same time? I need a sammich...my stomach is going to start eating itself. I can just hear my stomach saying "Helllloooooo" like from that Seinfeld episode of the girlfriend with the talking stomach.