Can't I get a break?

I want to cry. I mean REALLY cry. More than I was last night...

So yesterday was my insane day of doing everything under the sun and then some. The only thing I didn't get to was going to the recycling center to drop off the mountain of recyclable stuff that's been infesting the front closet. I went for lunch with my friend Bobo, then went to my doc appt., stopped off at my folks house to drop off some Disney pictures for the kids, went to the wake (and yes, Linds, it was S's Dad), and actually made a pit stop off at a friends house because she couldn't give her cat an injection. Miss K has a kitty who's 16 years old and is suffering from kidney failure, so they give her an injection with fluid so she doesn't dehydrate. Well, Miss K and her future sis in law, Miss A, tried giving kitty the injection. Kitty meowed really loud, instinct made Miss K take out needle. They tried again, couldn't do it. Miss A called me asking if I could come over and help, not sure why since I'd never dealt giving others needles before, but maybe it's because I'm going into the nursing field? So went over, helped out, all was okay. Now normally Miss K doesn't do this, but her parents (owners of kitty) are in some fabulous island adventure going to a niece's wedding, and Miss K was in charge of kitty duty. I don't know what I'd have done if I wasn't able to go over there and help and kitty apparently had some problems before Miss K's parents came home on Sunday. I'm going over again on Sat morning for another liquid injection for kitty.


So speaking of medical field, here's what this doctor did without an MRI, but LOOKING at the previous MRI from doctor #2, and doing stretches on both shoulders to compare and see what was going on. Verdict? I've got 2 torn labrums in my left shoulder. Yup! I'm not nuts like the other 2 docs though. This one told me that a) I shouldn't have been sent to therapy since it wasn't shoulder impingement (weakness) like both previous doctors had diagnosed and it could be aggravating the shoulder, b) I should never have been given cortisone shots, and yes, I had 2 in a 6 month time period, c) an open MRI is basic crap, you can't tell anything since there's light that can interfere in the actual interpretation of the data, and d) I'm going to need surgery to repair the 2 tears, be in a sling for 6 weeks, and have physical therapy up to 4 months, and no driving during the 6 weeks (yeah, well, I wasn't supposed to be driving with a cast on my foot when I broke it during the Turkey Bowl of 2003, but that didn't stop me either).

So that means that I need surgery. Yup, fun fun, but at least I'll be out of work for 6 weeks (and bring on the short term disability!!!). Sucky thing is...no nursing program this year. ARGGGGG!!!! OMG, I cried so much last night, I thought Loverboy would have to build a dam in the kitchen to keep me from flooding out the house. This means that I won't be eligible until next August for the nursing program, and I'm not necesarily guaranteed to be in the program. Plus I've paid for all the classes, the nursing fees, got my uniform, paid for my background check, fought tooth and nail to be accepted, and now I can't do it. What gets me even more was if doc #1 had caught this, I'd be done with physical therapy by now and ready to go (the spring semester was just Microbiology, I wasn't doing clinicals, and didn't need to lift stuff!). How do these doctors get paid so much when they treat patients like a fast food drive through?
"I'll take a double labrum tear with a side of fries and cortisone shot, no ketchup please."
How is one supposed to react to that? I kick myself that I didn't go to the 3rd doctor first! And they're ALL orthopaedic doctors, they were all found based off referrals, and I'm paying them for what, to shoo me out of their office saying that I'm fine, just do some exercises, get an injection, and we'll see you in a couple of months? So I've got 2 docs that I paid for crap. Aren't you supposed to get a reimbursement if they do a shoddy job? Like if you go to McD's and get a chicken wing that's got feathers in it, you can either get your money back, or another back that doesn't have feathers (this actually happened to me...and the second set had pinfeathers too...I never ordered the wings again). That just gets me started even more...must...calm...rage...

Other things I can't do...quit my job. Bring on the Pain (in the words of my girl Linds). I wanted to be done with this place prior to my friends wedding...now looks like I'll be here through Thanksgiving. At least I'll be gaining vacation time, 401K, and holiday pay. Hopefully I can get the surgery done right after the wedding, and still make it by taking another class to gain more points for school for the program. Sometime within the next year I do have to get a job as a CNA or else I'll loose my place on the state registry, which I'm not taking the CNA class again if I don't have too (more money, more punching myself in the head for not keeping up with things).

So here's what's going on within the next couple of days, whether this all goes through or not.
1. drop off all stuff at recycle place
2. burn all the rest of the wood from the back deck (whoo-hoo, my passion)
3. tend to said garden (and take updated pics)
4. clean out the fridge...somethings smelling gamey and I plan to find out what it is
5. clean the kitchen counters/stove/table/etc...
6. cry
7. dishes
8. clean off computer desk so it's actually functional (I bought some containers to hold some things, but they became overstocked with crap)
9. I've called Prairie State about having to drop from the program, now I need to see if I can find a class to replace it with this coming semester, and see how much I'm going to be out by not being able to be in it ($100 deposit for program, and background $40 check)
10. cry some more
11. try to make some stuff to sell on etsy for my operation (whoo hoo, that's going to be pricey)
12. laundry
13. exercise on the XL glider until I pass out
14. see how the bridesmaid dress fits (if I need a bigger size, I'm doing 2 water days a week until the wedding, about 5 weeks away)
15. have to plan a bachelorette party for the bride with the bitch of honor (her words, not mine)
16. take more stuff to the thrift store/post on Freecycle
17. cry again, check to see if dam has ruptured
18. call nursing program friends and say that I won't be in class with them this fall
19. mow and weedwack the yard
20. put up more birdfeeders and shepherd hooks (watch for dive bombing hummingbirds)
21. get stuff out of living room (couches, TV, etc) so Loverboy and grunt buddies can start ripping out the living room ceiling
22. bills
23. de-cobwebbing the house (this usually just needs to be done on a monthly basis...usually)
24. clean out the Blazer...it's smelling like mold, I don't know why
25. ask Loverboy why Blazer smells like mold
26. cry a little bit more
27. make lists of everything needed for vacation in less than 2 weeks (first vacation in 2 years)
28. I have no idea where sleep is going to fit in all this
29. brush the diva because the house is starting to look like a barber shop gone wild
30. I have no idea what to put in here...I just wanted everything to come out on an even number

So that's on the agenda at the moment. I think grocery shopping is ok, so that's one less thing I have to worry about. This is what I get to get done within the next 4 days (Friday through Monday), then next week will be a whole other ballgame. I'm going to hide in my office and hope no one needs help today...I've got enough to worry about.