So I've decided to sporadically add wonderful tidbits of TMI (Too Much Information) that patients feel the need to tell me while I'm at work. Here's the most recent that almost had me rolling on the floor. Scenario...patient is a diabetic who needs to bring in his first morning void (pee) so we can do a urinalysis, so the patient gets a cup with a lid at his previous visit to bring in with him at his next visit, this one is a month after his orientation visit:
Me: Mr. X, did you remember to bring in your first morning void this morning?
Mr. X: You betcha I did...do you want it?
Me: Um...no, when you go to the lab, you can give it to them since they will check the specimen?
Mr. X: How much was I supposed to fill it up? Because you never told me how much to fill up the cup...
Me: If you filled up the cup about half way, then that's perfect. They just need enough to run a dipstick test to check for blood and protein in your urine.
Mr. X: Well, I filled it up to the top. And lemme tell ya, I tried to stop, and god darn it my kidneys just wouldn't quit! I could've fill up another couple of cups for ya, at least a good 3 ta 4 more...
Me: No, one cup is sufficient, Mr. X. But thanks for the offer...
Maybe it's just me, but crap like this cracks me up...yeah, don't need 5 urine cups from you, sorry...lol. Oh well...welcome to a day in the life...
Thursday, June 25, 2009
Wednesday, June 24, 2009
No longer MIA...
Okay, so I've been MIA for what, over a month and a half now. What's been going on? Well let me give you the readers digest version...
Got married (whoo hoo, I'm Mrs. Loverboy now!). Wedding was loverly...bridesmaids were smokin, and Sarah did a gaw-geous job on my hair (I seriously don't know what I would have done without her...I'd have probably just put it up in my usual bun and said to hell with it). I just wish I would've been able to see you gals more...
What else...OH, got accepted into the nursing program the week before the wedding, and classes start at the end of August...I'm applying for all financial assistance that I can...maybe I'll win big on the Super Ball and not have to worry about working anymore and just go to school for fun since I'll be filthy rich!!!
Which brings me to finding a new job...not too picky since I'll be going down to part time in the fall, but still wanna find something that's going to help pay the bills...and applying at the local hussy joint or poll dancing ain't quite my theme..."But it helps pay for college"...yeah right, like those fake breastessess are going to help you get a PhD. I've applied to multiple nursing assistant positions locally, and even applied at a place that rhymes with J-Mart...thus my career option would literally be about 5 minutes away (how's that for saving gas, and I don't mean the kind that requires Bean-o). Wish me luck, kiddies...Momma wants to stop wasting 3 hours a day traveling to and from work!
What else...back to the tying of the knot (or the wearing of the shackles as confirmed per Loverboy's cousin Richie)...so no honeymoon as of yet, and the way bills and time is lookin', there ain't gonna BE a honeymoon anytime soon (what was previously stipulated for a Dec/Jan cruise will probably not happen due to us being poor).
First week in July Loverboy and I will be going to Eagle Lake in Michigan to spend the week drinking to our liver's content, and boating like it's nobody's business! We've gone the past 2 years for a week up to this quaint little cottage area off a lake with some of Loverboy's friends...no drama, no work, no hustle and bustle of everyday life...sounds like THAT'S gonna be the closest we have to a honeymoon for the next 2 years, and though it's low key and not fancy (the cottages are kinda old, smelly, and have matresses that we dare not sleep upon for fear of catching something...thank god for the air mattress), it's just relaxing with no problems. This year we gals all planned our menu's accordingly...helps save everyone from having to bring too much food, and someone else takes the dibs for dinner at least one night for the week. We're all on our own for breakfast, lunch is sandwiches and group efforts (like chips and fruit and salads), and then dinner is stuff like steaks for the guys, kabobs for the gals, spaghetti and meatball night with grilled garlic bread, hot dog/brat night, pizza night (which will be a night when the weather absolutely sucks and we actually go into town for pizza and a movie...and the movies are seriously $2 a person for NEW movies), mexican night, and god knows what else. I'm psyched.
So that's that in a nutshell...though I don't know how Reader's Digest I got there at the end...hey, I need a LITTLE excitement since all we've done since the wedding is work, work on the house, and try to keep cool with this nasty humid weather (OMG, I don't see how people are supposed to function in this weather, and there's supposed to be a weather advisory of 106 degrees today...bleah!). I'm hoping the heat breaks before my nerves do!
Got married (whoo hoo, I'm Mrs. Loverboy now!). Wedding was loverly...bridesmaids were smokin, and Sarah did a gaw-geous job on my hair (I seriously don't know what I would have done without her...I'd have probably just put it up in my usual bun and said to hell with it). I just wish I would've been able to see you gals more...
What else...OH, got accepted into the nursing program the week before the wedding, and classes start at the end of August...I'm applying for all financial assistance that I can...maybe I'll win big on the Super Ball and not have to worry about working anymore and just go to school for fun since I'll be filthy rich!!!
Which brings me to finding a new job...not too picky since I'll be going down to part time in the fall, but still wanna find something that's going to help pay the bills...and applying at the local hussy joint or poll dancing ain't quite my theme..."But it helps pay for college"...yeah right, like those fake breastessess are going to help you get a PhD. I've applied to multiple nursing assistant positions locally, and even applied at a place that rhymes with J-Mart...thus my career option would literally be about 5 minutes away (how's that for saving gas, and I don't mean the kind that requires Bean-o). Wish me luck, kiddies...Momma wants to stop wasting 3 hours a day traveling to and from work!
What else...back to the tying of the knot (or the wearing of the shackles as confirmed per Loverboy's cousin Richie)...so no honeymoon as of yet, and the way bills and time is lookin', there ain't gonna BE a honeymoon anytime soon (what was previously stipulated for a Dec/Jan cruise will probably not happen due to us being poor).
First week in July Loverboy and I will be going to Eagle Lake in Michigan to spend the week drinking to our liver's content, and boating like it's nobody's business! We've gone the past 2 years for a week up to this quaint little cottage area off a lake with some of Loverboy's friends...no drama, no work, no hustle and bustle of everyday life...sounds like THAT'S gonna be the closest we have to a honeymoon for the next 2 years, and though it's low key and not fancy (the cottages are kinda old, smelly, and have matresses that we dare not sleep upon for fear of catching something...thank god for the air mattress), it's just relaxing with no problems. This year we gals all planned our menu's accordingly...helps save everyone from having to bring too much food, and someone else takes the dibs for dinner at least one night for the week. We're all on our own for breakfast, lunch is sandwiches and group efforts (like chips and fruit and salads), and then dinner is stuff like steaks for the guys, kabobs for the gals, spaghetti and meatball night with grilled garlic bread, hot dog/brat night, pizza night (which will be a night when the weather absolutely sucks and we actually go into town for pizza and a movie...and the movies are seriously $2 a person for NEW movies), mexican night, and god knows what else. I'm psyched.
So that's that in a nutshell...though I don't know how Reader's Digest I got there at the end...hey, I need a LITTLE excitement since all we've done since the wedding is work, work on the house, and try to keep cool with this nasty humid weather (OMG, I don't see how people are supposed to function in this weather, and there's supposed to be a weather advisory of 106 degrees today...bleah!). I'm hoping the heat breaks before my nerves do!
Monday, May 4, 2009
Sporadic spew...
So things have been interesting lately...I saved a baby goose from getting run over on a major street in Naperville. The lady 2 cars in front of me wasn't going to move until the gosling was off of the street...sad to say he was too little to jump up the curb and to clueless to run until he found the sidewalk, so I threw my truck in park, put on the hazards, and ran over to usher the little guy to get off the road. Got a thanks from the lady in front and a thumbs up from the lady behind her as I ran back to my car.
What else...I saw a pair of dirty plaid drawers in the middle of the road (looks like someone either had an accident while driving, or was doing the nasty and ditched the evidence)...what else.
OH, one of the doctors at our facility thinks we may have had a patient last week that had the swine flu...how comfortable does that make you feel when you see one of the doctors and 2 nursing assistants wearing gowns, gloves, and masks while you're walking around without said protection asking what's going on? Yeah, STILL don't know if this patient tested positive, but oh, they building said they're going to start sanitizing better in the building, such as doorknobs and elevator buttons..hmm...thought they should've done that already. Turns out there's a couple of cases of the swine f...correction, a couple of cases of H1N1 (apparently the pork industry having issues due to the "swine" reference) in Illinois, one so close as to my hometown of Batavia (the middle school was closed down, as well as a case possibly found in Rogers Park). Hmm...now Loverboy is ill...it better be allergies after he was outside all weekend mowing, chain sawing trees (yes, I said chain sawing), and working with the yard...and here I keep telling him to take his vitamins and honey (which is supposed to help build up immunity to seasonal allergies...wives tale, maybe so, but who hasn't gotten hit with allergies yet this year...hint hint).
So what else...wedding's in full swing, and so is my brain. I've been having negative thoughts of being the ugly fat bride, and I've had some special ladies tell me I'm mental....thanks gals, I love ya!
This is my final week of work before the wedding!!! Then I'm off for 2 whole weeks...que something by Aerosmith that would fit here...I'm on an Aerosmith kick lately. Whoot-whoot!!!
So all is well, things are happening, and I'm trying not to be mental (if you see me scoot to the edge, just give me a boot to the head).
What else...I saw a pair of dirty plaid drawers in the middle of the road (looks like someone either had an accident while driving, or was doing the nasty and ditched the evidence)...what else.
OH, one of the doctors at our facility thinks we may have had a patient last week that had the swine flu...how comfortable does that make you feel when you see one of the doctors and 2 nursing assistants wearing gowns, gloves, and masks while you're walking around without said protection asking what's going on? Yeah, STILL don't know if this patient tested positive, but oh, they building said they're going to start sanitizing better in the building, such as doorknobs and elevator buttons..hmm...thought they should've done that already. Turns out there's a couple of cases of the swine f...correction, a couple of cases of H1N1 (apparently the pork industry having issues due to the "swine" reference) in Illinois, one so close as to my hometown of Batavia (the middle school was closed down, as well as a case possibly found in Rogers Park). Hmm...now Loverboy is ill...it better be allergies after he was outside all weekend mowing, chain sawing trees (yes, I said chain sawing), and working with the yard...and here I keep telling him to take his vitamins and honey (which is supposed to help build up immunity to seasonal allergies...wives tale, maybe so, but who hasn't gotten hit with allergies yet this year...hint hint).
So what else...wedding's in full swing, and so is my brain. I've been having negative thoughts of being the ugly fat bride, and I've had some special ladies tell me I'm mental....thanks gals, I love ya!
This is my final week of work before the wedding!!! Then I'm off for 2 whole weeks...que something by Aerosmith that would fit here...I'm on an Aerosmith kick lately. Whoot-whoot!!!
So all is well, things are happening, and I'm trying not to be mental (if you see me scoot to the edge, just give me a boot to the head).
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