Okay, so the chest pains have gone away naturally (probably due to the daily stress in my life), so I'm THRILLED about not going to see the doc...the less I need to go the better, though I probably should schedule a full physical after the beginning of the year since it's been what, since high school that I've done that? Yeah, I'm not much the doctor fan, though I've had my stretches of visits over the past couple of years...broken foot, nail through the foot, shoulder surgery, pneumonia, etc...but here's to a healthier 2009 I tell ya!
So now my job is to survive the holidays...and not eat myself a size bigger (thank goodness that hasn't been the case yet). But, there are stressful things that I will have to overcome. Per my Dad, who likes a little too much of the drinky drinky on family holidays, if we don't come on Christmas when he wants us there, there will no longer be a Christmas at their house. Yeah, that was the martini's talking, but Christmas will still be going on at their house for ever and ever...amen. There was a discussion with the kids and we're all going to go over later around 1pm-ish so that WE can have our own little personal gatherings prior to going over there for the gift exchange and festivities. Yeah, for me it's an hour plus drive, and while talking about this with my Mom on the phone, saying how I understand how things are changing and how people have their own lives, she said to me "I understand it, but I don't have to like it. And I'm not the one who moved so far away." This is the crap I have to deal with for family gatherings. Yes, I moved away to move in with a man I love into HIS house, not a house we bought together. Yes, you may not like the fact that we don't want to come over on Christmas, but I don't like the fact that you've only been over to my house one time since I moved in 4 years ago. And don't give me this "I don't have to like it" speech when you and Dad did the same thing with Grandma when we used to all go out to her place on Christmas, then you decided it was too hard and then started going over there the Saturday before Christmas or Christmas Eve for YOUR gift exchange...hypocritical and frustrating...this was what Thanksgiving brought us this year.
Holidays at my family gatherings are rarely fun, except when we siblings get together and start playing board games, or start bantering or reminising about something funny. That's something I miss since everyone is always running over to someone else's place prior to getting home that night. And yes, I am one of those running out to get home, but with darkness coming by 4:30pm these days, yeah, I'm not a fan of driving home on a holiday with the other crazies trying to get home and relax before the next day comes...and again, my drive is at least an hour one way.
This year is another crazy holiday time, Loverboy's Gram started to do Christmas on actual Christmas rather than on Christmas Eve since her nephew and psycho wife started holding their kids hostage if Gram and Loverboy's Aunt didn't go over there ON Christmas Eve...seriously, really? Can you be anymore psycho, crazy wife lady? There's some disturbing stories about that lady, but that's for another time.
So Christmas is not only at Gram's, but at my folks house as well. Last year I went to my folks and Loverboy went to his cousin's in Indiana...and I got flak for him not being with me. With our schedules, he doesn't get to see his family either, so I'm not going to NOT let him see his family around the holidays while I go over to my parent's house. This year it will be that way again, and I know that there will be discussion about him not being there again. I already told them most likely he wouldn't be coming since he has to work the next day, a luxury that our office ended up giving us another personal holiday for since we had a wonderful year budget-wise. Last Thanksgiving we had ended up staying home since we had a huge dumpster to get rid of all the roofing materials we had torn off the house, and since they were coming to pick it up on that Saturday, it was nice to not have to go anywhere for a family headache. I'd rather just stay home this year myself, but that's not going to happen...I'm a "can't say no" kinda gal, always have been, but hopefully always will not be. 2009 is the year to take my life back. I have a wedding to plan (now that we finally have a date...May 16th...and now I just need a contract), I have school I have to reapply for, a job to find closer to home which I hope to do prior to the wedding, a house to get in order, downsize all my junk...and hopefully have a garage sale this spring...new year, better life...and better me.
Hugs to you all, and have a save and happy holiday season!
Sunday, December 14, 2008
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
So forgive me if I'm a blubbering idiot and write novel posts...I always want to get EVERY detail added or else the info loses it's luster...and I like things shiney!
So here's the schpeal...I'm 32, getting over shoulder surgery, I'm a major klutz so you may see pics of my self damage up here sometime soon (it seems to be a weekly occurence), working full time, trying to get back into the nursing program (had to drop due to surgery), have a Money pit house that's bleeding me dry, I'm addicted to sweets (hmm...sugary goodness...), I'm engaged to a man who can live off hot dogs for the rest of his life and no gain weight, and I'm getting married sometime in the 5 months. Oh, and I weigh 240 right now...ack, I said it!!!
Yup, premium tubbo to be exact (I know, the comedic comments are horrendous, but it's how I deal, smile and nod with me)...buxom, pleasantly plump, love handles to spare, spare tire, chubby...or just plain fat. Yup, that's me, now lets hold hands, sing kumbia and then hit the sweets table.
So here's the deal, chest pains are not a fun deal, and I've been having them quite often. I'm not sure if it's my body saying "Listen here, you chubby wench, take it easy, there's only one of me to go around, " or if I'm going to become one of those early 30 y/o's who have to have heart surgery due to the syrup clogged in their arteries...or if it's just a change in the weather and the holidays always make me stressed, or if my ticker is teasing me and giving me the chance to drop a quick 20-60 pounds before dropping me. I'll make an appointment soon, I promise.
Or it could be because with my weight gain, the "twins" (the glorious ta-tas upon my busom) are huge and causing my chest to lean forward and cause chest and back issues...I need to do something quick.
So from now on the most of my biot (Linds will remember that) fest will be changing a bit to my struggle and succession of losing the "joey" like pouch where a flat stomach should be, and I will not whine...well, whine with a little cheese never hurt anybody....NO! No whine, or wine (well, maybe a glass of merlot for the ol' ticker, it's supposed to be GOOD for me, but no longer a bottle!) I will throw in useless tidbits of things that I find amusing, or make me laugh, or piss me off...so basically not much is changing except me putting in some weight loss stuff.
So be ready for more posts, if you don't hear from me for a while, I did have a coronary, but I'll be back on soon...a coronary means time off from work, which means time on the devil screen (which is what I call the computer these days since it's sucking the life out of me lately)...laters taters...hmmmm....taters....
So here's the schpeal...I'm 32, getting over shoulder surgery, I'm a major klutz so you may see pics of my self damage up here sometime soon (it seems to be a weekly occurence), working full time, trying to get back into the nursing program (had to drop due to surgery), have a Money pit house that's bleeding me dry, I'm addicted to sweets (hmm...sugary goodness...), I'm engaged to a man who can live off hot dogs for the rest of his life and no gain weight, and I'm getting married sometime in the 5 months. Oh, and I weigh 240 right now...ack, I said it!!!
Yup, premium tubbo to be exact (I know, the comedic comments are horrendous, but it's how I deal, smile and nod with me)...buxom, pleasantly plump, love handles to spare, spare tire, chubby...or just plain fat. Yup, that's me, now lets hold hands, sing kumbia and then hit the sweets table.
So here's the deal, chest pains are not a fun deal, and I've been having them quite often. I'm not sure if it's my body saying "Listen here, you chubby wench, take it easy, there's only one of me to go around, " or if I'm going to become one of those early 30 y/o's who have to have heart surgery due to the syrup clogged in their arteries...or if it's just a change in the weather and the holidays always make me stressed, or if my ticker is teasing me and giving me the chance to drop a quick 20-60 pounds before dropping me. I'll make an appointment soon, I promise.
Or it could be because with my weight gain, the "twins" (the glorious ta-tas upon my busom) are huge and causing my chest to lean forward and cause chest and back issues...I need to do something quick.
So from now on the most of my biot (Linds will remember that) fest will be changing a bit to my struggle and succession of losing the "joey" like pouch where a flat stomach should be, and I will not whine...well, whine with a little cheese never hurt anybody....NO! No whine, or wine (well, maybe a glass of merlot for the ol' ticker, it's supposed to be GOOD for me, but no longer a bottle!) I will throw in useless tidbits of things that I find amusing, or make me laugh, or piss me off...so basically not much is changing except me putting in some weight loss stuff.
So be ready for more posts, if you don't hear from me for a while, I did have a coronary, but I'll be back on soon...a coronary means time off from work, which means time on the devil screen (which is what I call the computer these days since it's sucking the life out of me lately)...laters taters...hmmmm....taters....
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Yup, that about sums it up, I want to scream. My newest rant about recent crap going on...does this fun never end? This is what's been going on the past 2 weeks....
Last Monday I got a call from Loverboy as I'm in the drive thru at Taco Hell trying to get some nourishment...cough cough...prior to attending physical therapy (people, pray that Halloween will be my last day of physical therapy EVER). I don't really hear him correctly cause the drive thru guy is asking me if I want Dragon sauce with my order...I'm thinking Loverboy said that Diesel, one of our ginormous lap dogs, is throwing up blood...crap, what did he eat now. No...it was Loverboy's Dad, in the ER, because apparently he had passed a lot of blood in the bathroom. HOLY CRAP! I told him I was on my way home, called therapy telling them I was going to have to cancel that days therapy session, and zipped on home! No one knew what was going on, except the fact that Father Loverboy (that's what I'll call him) had gone to the bathroom, passed blood, then hit the floor as soon as he got out of the bathroom. It took this man 2 hours to get to a phone because he couldn't get up, and he literally lives 5 minutes away from the nearest hospital! No shit! The paramedics arrive, take him to the ER, and start him on morphine and units of blood...4 units to be exact (yeah, he was more than a quart low).
Loverboy and I got out there slicker n' snot, and got to visit Father Loverboy one at a time (Gram was there when he had been admitted, but she had already gone home). We each got to talk to him while he was in and out of consciousness, and I got to asking him some questions...what have you been eating, drinking, medications...blah blah. The research coordinator in me was out in rare form. Apparently he was taking Excedrin for his arthritis...major arthritis...and a couple of pills just about every hour. His whole upper body is lacking muscle mass due to the arthritis, and it's traveling downwards through his body. No wonder the man looks like he's lost quite a bit of weight in the past 3 months. So okay, he's overdoing the aspirin. Now because of this overzealous abundance of aspirin, he gets heartburn...so what does he do? He downs flavored Tums/antacids like candy. Not good. I told Loverboy when we were doing a changing of the guard that I thought it sounded like a massive ulcer based off what Father Loverboy had told me. Turns out I was almost right. Found out the next day after they'd had a tube down his throat that it wasn't a massive ulcer, it was MULTIPLE ulcers! Yup, he's just about blown out his stomach. So we're relieved that it could have been majorly worse, those kinds of ulcers can be easily treated. However, he has been having other problems, and hasn't been to the doc's in years. He'll find out what else is going on sometime next week when he has his follow up visit and sees a gastroenterologist.
So the day after that I get a call from Gram with news on what's going on. Apparently Father Loverboy (who has insurance) was called by someone from the hospital that he had to put down $500 while he was in the hospital for his stay. The woman said if he didn't have the money, that he should call family to get it. Excuse me? Um, first, you do NOT call a patient while they are in the ER and say that you need to pay $500 for your stay...that's what bills in the mail are for. Next, I wouldn't do anything without documentation...besides, I'm not a fan of the hospital he was staying at, I'd have taken him elsewhere had I knows anything was going on. Then he's being working on by a doc who says he can leave the day after he was admitted. Now mind you he's still on morphine, dizzy, still bleeding, and not being monitored with his bathroom usage. He asks a nurse if its normal to still be bleeding (nurse had no idea), and that he wanted to talk to another doctor. Then he finds out that he shouldn't still be on the morphine, and they switch him to Tylenol. So he talks to the doctor on call and finds out the previous doctor was a STUDENT. Yeah, that would've been medical malpractice for sure. So she says that he needs to stay another night, gives him information about how he's going to need to change his diet (which the other doc hadn't given him), she gives him a script for ulcer medication, and he's released the next day.
So Father Loverboy (FL) owns 2 apartment buildings, 3 units per building, and a tennant had previously moved out. Loverboy went over to get whatever he could done so that a new tennant could come in and the place wouldn't be sitting. Okay, fair enough. So we're back on the schedule where I don't see him until late anymore due to him going over there after work. I ended up going out there that Friday with some info from the internet on dietary and recovery needs for FL, and made him a bunch of food that he could eat throughout the weekend that wouldn't cause him any pain: french vanilla pudding, stuff to make hot oatmeal, portioned baked chicken with stuffing, mashed sweet potatoes, and steamed carrots, and tuna noodle casserole. Just about all of that was gone by the time I went back on Sunday. Good, he's eating. I told Loverboy that I'd have his Dad a good 20 pounds heavier by Christmas if I kept feeding him like that.
So Sunday I started making a bunch of stuff at home not only for Loverboy, but to bring over to his Dad's for the week. Here's where stuff gets weird. About 2 weeks prior I'd met a girl on the train, she was 19 and 6'5". Yeah, tall girl. We started talking, she was funny, a little crude, but nice enough. We hung out the Saturday before at a flea market in Indiana, and rode the train during the week last Monday and Wednesday. She also wanted to know if I had any single friends...okay, we'll see what's going on with this. I tell her about my friend Danny Boy, nice guy, funny, and fun to be around...she wants him to text her because she doesn't talk much on the phone...um, huh? So she calls me on Sunday when I'm making all this stuff and asks to come over an use our computer for homework since the libraries are closed. Um, no, because a)I don't really know you, b)Loverboy and I are both going to be in and out throughout the day, and I'm not leaving you alone in my house, and c)don't you have someone that you know that has one you can use? Then she wants to know what I'm doing, if she can go with me over to FL's house when I bring him food, and asks me about Danny Boy (this being off the market, I have few single male friends who aren't gay these days)...is he cute, where does he live, does he wear ugly shoes...huh? Okay, he's got your number, he'll call you. But she's adamant about doing something, whether I tell her I'm busy or not. She wants me to go with her to meet up with Danny Boy, um...I've got stuff I need to do, if you meet with him sometime after today, I'm more than happy to go, but I've got stuff that needs to be done right now...I'm sorry you're bored, it's not my problem...but he's my friend, she doesn't want to meet him alone...then don't meet up with him, but I've got stuff to do. She tells me to breath...asks what's with the attitude, asks to breath with me and to stop being a crab ass...EXCUSE ME!??!?!
Yeah, that's when the ball dropped. I lost it. I've been doing laundry the past 4 hours since we had to put in a sump pump because the PVC pipe from the washer was broken and the water was going underneath the house instead of the dry well and that was the first day we were able to hook it back up, I'm cooking like Julia Child on crack so people have something to eat, I'm trying to get the living room cleaned to a state where Loverboy can rip up the floor to pour the slab, and I'm trying to figure out how to plan the wedding/cruise/reception and where we're going to have it...I asked her if she was really going to play that card with me when I had a ton of stuff on my plate. If you know me, you know that my days are pretty crazy, and that I'm not going to drop everything because you're a spoiled teenager who's bored. Not gonna happen unless it's an emergency, which this definately was not. Family and friends come first, laundry is a close second, and people met on the train are down the line around 125, or something. I hung up, and didn't answer the phone the rest of the night. She'd called twice when I was on the way to FL's with all the food I'd made, no messages. Monday I saw her when I was walking to the train. She asked me if I was still being a crab ass... "Don't talk to me." That was all it took, and she hasn't tried to call me back. I'm not her mother, her babysitter, her buddy...I don't need people like that in my life.
Which brings me to today. Last night Loverbody was over at FL's finishing up work on the one apartment. Apparently his right foot had gone in a hole at the bottom of the stairs outside the apartment, and he went down on his knee (yes, it was the one he just had surgery on in March), and his foot twisted. He had come home hobbeling, I sent him to the shower for a soak, told him to take 2 Tylenol, and to elevate his foot when he went to bed to help with the swelling. Just called him this morning, he's home, and was waiting to go see a doctor. CRAP! He thinks he cracked something in the top of his foot. The ankle is fine, there's no real swelling, but he's having a hard time walking. I pray that it's a sprain and not a break...if its a break, then he'll be in a cast for 6+ weeks, and I'll be crying as I cancel our Honeymoon cruise in Jan...I've got till November to cancel it for a full refund. I'm not doing a cruise if Loverboy won't be able to enjoy it, let alone be able to walk and scuba dive.
So that's what's going on. I'm going to see about getting a part time job this weekend to help pick up some of the slack of the bills, but we still need to get the concrete footing under the house before the end of the year, and it was a chilly 37 degrees this morning when I woke up. It's only going to get colder, I can tell you that. Anyone know of someone who clones humans? I need a few dozen to help out with my schedule...
Last Monday I got a call from Loverboy as I'm in the drive thru at Taco Hell trying to get some nourishment...cough cough...prior to attending physical therapy (people, pray that Halloween will be my last day of physical therapy EVER). I don't really hear him correctly cause the drive thru guy is asking me if I want Dragon sauce with my order...I'm thinking Loverboy said that Diesel, one of our ginormous lap dogs, is throwing up blood...crap, what did he eat now. No...it was Loverboy's Dad, in the ER, because apparently he had passed a lot of blood in the bathroom. HOLY CRAP! I told him I was on my way home, called therapy telling them I was going to have to cancel that days therapy session, and zipped on home! No one knew what was going on, except the fact that Father Loverboy (that's what I'll call him) had gone to the bathroom, passed blood, then hit the floor as soon as he got out of the bathroom. It took this man 2 hours to get to a phone because he couldn't get up, and he literally lives 5 minutes away from the nearest hospital! No shit! The paramedics arrive, take him to the ER, and start him on morphine and units of blood...4 units to be exact (yeah, he was more than a quart low).
Loverboy and I got out there slicker n' snot, and got to visit Father Loverboy one at a time (Gram was there when he had been admitted, but she had already gone home). We each got to talk to him while he was in and out of consciousness, and I got to asking him some questions...what have you been eating, drinking, medications...blah blah. The research coordinator in me was out in rare form. Apparently he was taking Excedrin for his arthritis...major arthritis...and a couple of pills just about every hour. His whole upper body is lacking muscle mass due to the arthritis, and it's traveling downwards through his body. No wonder the man looks like he's lost quite a bit of weight in the past 3 months. So okay, he's overdoing the aspirin. Now because of this overzealous abundance of aspirin, he gets heartburn...so what does he do? He downs flavored Tums/antacids like candy. Not good. I told Loverboy when we were doing a changing of the guard that I thought it sounded like a massive ulcer based off what Father Loverboy had told me. Turns out I was almost right. Found out the next day after they'd had a tube down his throat that it wasn't a massive ulcer, it was MULTIPLE ulcers! Yup, he's just about blown out his stomach. So we're relieved that it could have been majorly worse, those kinds of ulcers can be easily treated. However, he has been having other problems, and hasn't been to the doc's in years. He'll find out what else is going on sometime next week when he has his follow up visit and sees a gastroenterologist.
So the day after that I get a call from Gram with news on what's going on. Apparently Father Loverboy (who has insurance) was called by someone from the hospital that he had to put down $500 while he was in the hospital for his stay. The woman said if he didn't have the money, that he should call family to get it. Excuse me? Um, first, you do NOT call a patient while they are in the ER and say that you need to pay $500 for your stay...that's what bills in the mail are for. Next, I wouldn't do anything without documentation...besides, I'm not a fan of the hospital he was staying at, I'd have taken him elsewhere had I knows anything was going on. Then he's being working on by a doc who says he can leave the day after he was admitted. Now mind you he's still on morphine, dizzy, still bleeding, and not being monitored with his bathroom usage. He asks a nurse if its normal to still be bleeding (nurse had no idea), and that he wanted to talk to another doctor. Then he finds out that he shouldn't still be on the morphine, and they switch him to Tylenol. So he talks to the doctor on call and finds out the previous doctor was a STUDENT. Yeah, that would've been medical malpractice for sure. So she says that he needs to stay another night, gives him information about how he's going to need to change his diet (which the other doc hadn't given him), she gives him a script for ulcer medication, and he's released the next day.
So Father Loverboy (FL) owns 2 apartment buildings, 3 units per building, and a tennant had previously moved out. Loverboy went over to get whatever he could done so that a new tennant could come in and the place wouldn't be sitting. Okay, fair enough. So we're back on the schedule where I don't see him until late anymore due to him going over there after work. I ended up going out there that Friday with some info from the internet on dietary and recovery needs for FL, and made him a bunch of food that he could eat throughout the weekend that wouldn't cause him any pain: french vanilla pudding, stuff to make hot oatmeal, portioned baked chicken with stuffing, mashed sweet potatoes, and steamed carrots, and tuna noodle casserole. Just about all of that was gone by the time I went back on Sunday. Good, he's eating. I told Loverboy that I'd have his Dad a good 20 pounds heavier by Christmas if I kept feeding him like that.
So Sunday I started making a bunch of stuff at home not only for Loverboy, but to bring over to his Dad's for the week. Here's where stuff gets weird. About 2 weeks prior I'd met a girl on the train, she was 19 and 6'5". Yeah, tall girl. We started talking, she was funny, a little crude, but nice enough. We hung out the Saturday before at a flea market in Indiana, and rode the train during the week last Monday and Wednesday. She also wanted to know if I had any single friends...okay, we'll see what's going on with this. I tell her about my friend Danny Boy, nice guy, funny, and fun to be around...she wants him to text her because she doesn't talk much on the phone...um, huh? So she calls me on Sunday when I'm making all this stuff and asks to come over an use our computer for homework since the libraries are closed. Um, no, because a)I don't really know you, b)Loverboy and I are both going to be in and out throughout the day, and I'm not leaving you alone in my house, and c)don't you have someone that you know that has one you can use? Then she wants to know what I'm doing, if she can go with me over to FL's house when I bring him food, and asks me about Danny Boy (this being off the market, I have few single male friends who aren't gay these days)...is he cute, where does he live, does he wear ugly shoes...huh? Okay, he's got your number, he'll call you. But she's adamant about doing something, whether I tell her I'm busy or not. She wants me to go with her to meet up with Danny Boy, um...I've got stuff I need to do, if you meet with him sometime after today, I'm more than happy to go, but I've got stuff that needs to be done right now...I'm sorry you're bored, it's not my problem...but he's my friend, she doesn't want to meet him alone...then don't meet up with him, but I've got stuff to do. She tells me to breath...asks what's with the attitude, asks to breath with me and to stop being a crab ass...EXCUSE ME!??!?!
Yeah, that's when the ball dropped. I lost it. I've been doing laundry the past 4 hours since we had to put in a sump pump because the PVC pipe from the washer was broken and the water was going underneath the house instead of the dry well and that was the first day we were able to hook it back up, I'm cooking like Julia Child on crack so people have something to eat, I'm trying to get the living room cleaned to a state where Loverboy can rip up the floor to pour the slab, and I'm trying to figure out how to plan the wedding/cruise/reception and where we're going to have it...I asked her if she was really going to play that card with me when I had a ton of stuff on my plate. If you know me, you know that my days are pretty crazy, and that I'm not going to drop everything because you're a spoiled teenager who's bored. Not gonna happen unless it's an emergency, which this definately was not. Family and friends come first, laundry is a close second, and people met on the train are down the line around 125, or something. I hung up, and didn't answer the phone the rest of the night. She'd called twice when I was on the way to FL's with all the food I'd made, no messages. Monday I saw her when I was walking to the train. She asked me if I was still being a crab ass... "Don't talk to me." That was all it took, and she hasn't tried to call me back. I'm not her mother, her babysitter, her buddy...I don't need people like that in my life.
Which brings me to today. Last night Loverbody was over at FL's finishing up work on the one apartment. Apparently his right foot had gone in a hole at the bottom of the stairs outside the apartment, and he went down on his knee (yes, it was the one he just had surgery on in March), and his foot twisted. He had come home hobbeling, I sent him to the shower for a soak, told him to take 2 Tylenol, and to elevate his foot when he went to bed to help with the swelling. Just called him this morning, he's home, and was waiting to go see a doctor. CRAP! He thinks he cracked something in the top of his foot. The ankle is fine, there's no real swelling, but he's having a hard time walking. I pray that it's a sprain and not a break...if its a break, then he'll be in a cast for 6+ weeks, and I'll be crying as I cancel our Honeymoon cruise in Jan...I've got till November to cancel it for a full refund. I'm not doing a cruise if Loverboy won't be able to enjoy it, let alone be able to walk and scuba dive.
So that's what's going on. I'm going to see about getting a part time job this weekend to help pick up some of the slack of the bills, but we still need to get the concrete footing under the house before the end of the year, and it was a chilly 37 degrees this morning when I woke up. It's only going to get colder, I can tell you that. Anyone know of someone who clones humans? I need a few dozen to help out with my schedule...
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